Yes, friends the best stress busters you have. But first, who is your friend? As per the definition “a person you know well and like, and who is not usually a member of your family.”

But everyone has their definition of a friend. Now comes a million-dollar question – who is right? Definition of friendship changes with the depth of your relationship with your friend.

Our friends could be:

• School or college friends we share our childhood memories, innocence and dreams with. These friendships when continued over your adult life tend to become very deep.
• University Friends are your friends with whom you share your aspirations and goals. These friendships also tend to become very deep when continued through your adult.
• Office Friends are called colleagues and they share your office environment and its pressures with you. They know exactly how you feel when at the office and can become a good support system at work.
• Relatives as friends are also possible. Sometimes we become very friendly with our cousins or someone else in the family and start sharing our experiences with them. These friendships most of the time start at childhood and can go deep.
• Others whom you meet randomly, and you suddenly find a good friend in them who understand you better than the rest of the people around you.

If your friend compliments you in many areas of your life, then you have a deeper friendship with him/her. Deeper the friendship, greater the power of the friend to bust your stress. Friends can help you bust your stress at different levels

Bad Time Stress Busting: Everybody goes through a bad time and in your bad times what you need is a little support. Friends support you in the form of someone who

• Listen to your emotional outbursts: By giving you a shoulder to cry on, your friends help you bust your stress in bad times.
• Do not judge you for your outcomes: In your bad times, you are not at your best and so your outcomes are also not the best. Friends know that you are not performing at your peak, so they do not judge you. By doing this, they allow you to get rid of your negative emotions towards your outcomes, which reduces your stress.
• Give you courage: During bad times, what you need the most is courage and that’s exactly what friends give you. You stop doubting yourself and this reduces your stress.
• Takes Reality check: Friends are the only people who can show you where you are going wrong or not thinking straight. By doing so, they help you avoid future failure and the stress caused by it.
• Brings a smile to your face: In bad times, friends are the best stress-busters as they help you laugh. They are the only ones who know you well and can take a chance on disturbing your status quo at their own cost.

Activate your Non-Stress Zone: When you are in stress at work, your mind is stuck in stress. You need to activate your non-stress zone. The non-stress zone is triggered by thinking about something other than your work. Friends:

• Change the subject: Friends are good at talking you out of your stress by discussing topics unrelated to your work. This takes away your stress.
• Are funny: Friends’ funny remark will make you laugh, creating instantaneously a non-stress zone.
• Keep us Active: Friends keep suggesting different activities like sports, partying, or some outdoor activities. This changes your mindset and brings you out of stress.

Creates a comfort zone: Friends provides you with the comfort zone where you can be who you are. Friends create a comfort zone with:

• Their Non-Judgmental attitude:Friends create a comfort zone with their non-judgmental attitude. You can talk about what you feel like or chose to remain silent without getting judged for your action or non-action. This way, you get rid of your negative emotions.
• Their Unconditional Love: Friends give you unconditional love which creates this comfort zone. You can express your emotions without the fear of getting less love from your friends. This way you get rid of your stress.
• Quality Time spent: Friends provide you with quality time which is what you need sometimes to come back to a stress-free state. Sometimes you need a sounding board to get to a solution. This is the best way to get rid of stress.
• Sharing your secrets: You can share your secrets with your close friends and get rid of your stress. You know your secrets are safe with your friend.

Constant Growth: Friends always help in your growth. Growth is a great stress buster. Friends help you grow at different levels

• Mental Growth: Friends create healthy mental growth. Friends help you overcome your negative thoughts.  When you are in a negative thought-zone you cannot think clearly. Friends help you focus on important things in life. Negative thoughts can kill your happiness and push you into depression. Friends can pull you out of this mental condition. They help you see the brighter and positive side of the challenge you are facing. This automatically takes away your stress.
• Physical Growth: Friends not only help you in your mental growth but also in your physical growth. They convince you to join them in different outdoor physical intensive activities. Friends do not laugh or joke about your physical appearance. They improve their physical appearance and in turn, help you improve yours. A healthy body hosts a healthy mind and a healthy mind creates a healthy body. Your friends help you in achieving both with a constant loving push and healthy competition. This removes your stress.

• Social Growth: Human is a social being. Simply put, you cannot live alone. Friends are your social extensions. These extensions bring more social connections, which you cannot create alone. And at times, when you are not willing to be social, friends help you become more socially active. Social growth and activities help you bust your stress.
• Gentle ‘Push’:  Friends provide you valuable assistance in growth by giving you that gentle push when you get pessimistic or you procrastinate. Friends help push you out of your comfort zone. Friends help you get over your fears and achieve the task at hand. By overcoming your fears and procrastination, you defeat stress.

Till you read my next blog, till then Keep Your Friends Near,Stay Healthy and Stress-free!

In this blog, we will discuss, ‘Why is coordination so important at the workplace?’ What does the management in an organization expect from each of its employees? Dedication, Conviction or Hard Work? Let us not forget, that teamwork is the basis of the success of any organization. Collaboration and Cooperation are two of the three pillars of teamwork, however, these two cannot exist without the third pillar, i.e. Coordination. Employees are expected to coordinate well with each other so that no employee is uninformed of any important data that floats in the team. As Mark Sanborn says,  “In teamwork, silence isn’t golden, it’s deadly.”

What exactly does a coordinated team look like?

“You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins."

Jim Stovall

A team which is well aware of every information that needs to be floated is united and each employee in the team has a sense of inclusion and hence its content with respect to his/her job. Each organizational structure has a special place for an employee or a team which manages the operations of the firm. The operations team is responsible to ensure effective coordination among departments. Successful delivery of the project to a customer involves various processes and numerous departments. There is no place for a lack of coordination among teams and employees if the organization looks forward to success.

However, what are the tenets required for building coordination in an organization? Let me list those out for you:

What role do these elements play in building coordination in a team?

• Honesty Towards Workplace: Honesty is the best policy!’, we have been aware of this saying since we were kids. Have we been able to sincerely apply it in our lives as yet? The presence of honesty and goodwill is absolutely necessary for the success of both an individual and a team. What happens when we are honest with our team members and our managers? By being honest, we give others a chance to trust ourselves with every information that is necessary for team members to know. Better coordination and hence better-organized work is possible with a foundation of honesty among team members.
• Trust Among Employees: Do you trust your peers enough with an important task at hand? Can you rely on your fellow team member for an urgent job? Can you confide about your personal work-related challenges in your manager? A team is best coordinated if the members trust each other completely. As Lencioni says, every vulnerability can be overcome if the team is well-coordinated on the grounds of trust.

"Teamwork begins by building trust. And the only way to do that is to overcome our need for invulnerability."

Patrick Lencioni

• Effective Communication Skills: What does the word ‘coordination’ directly refer to? Coordination means effective delegation of work, proper conveyance of ideas and well-connected teamwork! For a team to be well connected, each member needs to inculcate effective communication skills. Effective communication, as I have described in my previous blogs, can lead the road to success for any team! Are you always able to convey your ideas and complaints properly to others? Clarity of thought is a prerequisite for the healthy and coordinated environment at work.

• Collaborative Spirit: One of the three pillars of success of a team, collaboration, refers to working towards a common vision, a clear target. Effective coordination of a team depends upon whether or not the team of different individuals is actually working with a united mindset towards a common goal for the organization. Working together also generates a sense of accountability in the employees. An organization with a collaborative spirit intact never faces a lack of coordination while at work!

“Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success."

Henry Ford

• Cooperative Environment: Do you help your team member to overcome his/her weaknesses? Can you rely on your team member to help you through a difficult situation? Cooperation,  also forms the basis of a well-coordinated team. Responsibilities can only be divided efficiently if a camaraderie exists within a team! If one individual or team faces an issue, the other induvial or team needs to be at their toes to help! This is how a firm moves towards success!

"It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed."

Napolean Hill

• Effective Leadership: Last but not the least, leadership, to a great extent, determines the fate of a team or an organization. What does the word ‘leader’ refer to? A leader is responsible for inculcating all the above points in a team! He/she should be able to invoke a feeling of trust and belief in the hearts of his employees. A leader is greatly responsible for building a well-coordinated team. If an operations team is responsible for smooth functioning across teams, a leader above all, is responsible to make sure there are no hurdles in coordination. At times an initiator, at times a mediator, a leader has to change his/her role according to the requirement of the team!

Collaboration, Cooperation and Coordination  - If these three pillars are intact in an organization, nothing can stop it and its employees from achieving success!

Stay tuned for my upcoming blogs.

This blog will take you through 5 effective strategies to become great leaders. Throughout our lives, we meet numerous people who often leave an imprint on our mind as great friends, or great leaders or mentors. In the current fast-paced world, being a leader at work or in life requires certain specific attributes and strength to face challenges steadfastly.

 The strength of any organisation or firm lies in the strength of its leaders at every level. Hence, leadership is a necessary trait to have in order to achieve success in life. Your actions as a manager and strategies you use to counter challenges say a lot about your skill as a leader.

Do you think you’re a good leader? If you believe that being wise is a must for being a good leader or that a good leader must know all answers or that he/she can do all tasks single-handedly, you are mistaken. Effective delegation, as opposed to great knowledge, is a sign of a great leader. Let’s understand a few other tenets of effective leadership and strategies to inculcate the same:

1) Practice Resilience!

Challenges are a part and parcel of life, but it depends on how you tackle them! Managing a team’s work is more challenging than being accountable for your own work. It is okay to make mistakes; however, leaders live the ‘never say die’ spirit and inculcate the same in their teams. Viewing mistakes as opportunities are the basis of attaining success. A real leader helps dissolve anxiety and fear in their teams, teaches them to learn from past mistakes and step forward, showing them the way to success!

2) Be and Stay Passionate!

Real passion and imminent desire for success are contagious. A lack of passion and energy is not a sign of a good leader. What are the ways to motivate a team?  A team is motivated only when it can see the desire for good work in their leader’s eyes. Your clarity of purpose and your vision reflects in the work done by your team. However, a balance of passion and intellect is necessary for setting the perfect example. Setting realistic targets for your team and yourself is a sign of good leadership. A leader sets small targets for the team and leads them on the path to achieving a bigger goal. Lead by example and become a source of constant inspiration!

3) Engage in Dialogue!

Ask yourselves from time to time, ‘Do I feel connected to my team? Is my team on the same page as I am?’ Working towards one goal becomes difficult with a lack of effective communication.

Build a positive environment for your team. The more they trust you, the more they are open to feedback. Appreciation is the most important aspect of motivation. Learn to appreciate again and again. Check with yourself, ‘Do I know my team well?’ Taking breaks and having conversations beyond work is the most efficient way to build good relations with the team. Lack of communication can give rise to a lack of accountability, and eventually lead to immense anxiety and stress in your team. A window for smooth dialogue with the manager provides the team with a sense of support and camaraderie.

4) Be High on Emotional Intelligence!

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand your own as well as others’ emotions. Having this quality makes you capable of being aware of your actions and how they shall affect others. It prompts you to have control over your anger, your speech as well as your actions. It enables you to be humble and compassionate towards the people you’re working with. EI is a must for building an effective social personality!

5) Be a Mentor!

A mentor is a person who you can approach any time you face a difficulty to receive guidance and support. A mentor connects with you on an emotional as well as professional level, corrects you when there’s a need and appreciates you at the right time. A mentor is honest with you and expects you to be honest with them in return. In order to become an effective leader, one needs to be a good mentor too! As the quote reads, a leader prioritizes the growth of others and leads them on the path to success.

Apply these strategies and set the example of good leadership. Stay tuned for my upcoming blogs on tackling issues at work.

Till Then Keep Growing, Stay Healthy and Stress-free!

In this blog, I will give you 8 strategies if you feel overwhelmed at work. These strategies will help you reduce stress and unlock your potential to the best at your workplace!

Stress is the most common issue faced by people in the current times. However, what people don’t realize is that being over-stressed and overwhelmed can reduce your efficiency multifold, affect your health to a great extent and is a catalyst for numerous long-term diseases. The issue of overwhelming stress was dealt with by Yerkes and Dodson in 1908, where they came up with a bell curve to depict how motivation is directly connected to feeling overwhelmed. According to them, extreme high and extreme low motivation are the bearers of inefficiency, which in turn makes us feel overwhelmed. A balance is necessary! Let us discuss how you can inculcate certain good habits to reduce stress and anxiety at work and maintain a balanced mindset to completely ward off the ‘Monday Blues!’.

1) Planning Always Helps!

Look in your drawer and take out the sticky notes you haven’t been paying attention to for so long! Write about every task that is due, and sort them out under urgent and important. Urgent is what requires you to deliver something at your best speed; it often makes you panic. Less thought goes into it and hence work efficiency reduces. The important tasks, on the other hand require proper planning, thought and action.

Do you know why is it necessary to know the difference between what is urgent and important? According to Eisenhower’s Principle, what is urgent is seldom important, and what is important is seldom urgent. Divide your work and prioritize it! Your time and attention are precious, use them wisely.

2) Focus on ‘Now’ & ‘Here’:

As I have said in my previous blogs, your universe resonates with you. Ask yourselves from time to time, ‘Are my surroundings comfortable enough for me to work efficiently? Can I change something that is amiss?’

If the answer is yes, make that change, first! Be it, cleaning your workstation, or resolving an argument with a colleague that is making your mind unstable.

3) As Yourself: “Is My Subject of Worry Worthy Enough”?

As I said previously, your mental peace is precious. Do not lose it over trifles. Think about the situation you’re so worried about, and let it go until it is something that concerns your life. As Dean Smith says,

4) Switch Your Work-Mode ‘Off’ and Take a Break

American author Douglas Rushkoff correctly describes the present condition of human beings as “Always On!” More than using technology to our advantage, we have slowly turned into its slaves. Being ‘online’, and ‘alert’ all the time has become a prerequisite today; and this greatly affects our physical and mental health.

What do you do when you suddenly feel overburdened and overwhelmed? Most of us get stuck further in the trap. Consider leaving your workstation, and take a walk somewhere in the fresh air to release the traffic in your mind. This helps in viewing at a situation from a bigger and a better perspective. Everything needs to be recharged, distance yourselves from technology in the break, and let nature recharge you!

5) Embrace the Reality

‘I have made a grave error! What will happen now?’ Each one of us in our lives, has had this experience of making an error and being scared about the outcome. However, in the end, we’ve always been able to manage the situation. Embrace your circumstances and focus on the present! It is  always wise to move on, rather than being stuck in the clock. Motivate yourself to take responsibility and do best in the next task at hand!

6) Monitor your Motivational Energy

Sticking to reality is essential. As I said in the beginning, balanced motivation is the best catalyst for efficient work. If you’re over-motivated, you might want to become an over-achiever, and you end up wanting to do everything at once! Ask yourself, ‘Is this possible for me to do? Or will it be stressful for me?’ Realistic goals help you ward off stress.

7) When Overwhelmed, Communicate and Put the Weights Down

Have you ever considered talking to your colleague or your manager when you feel overburdened? Build conversations over small coffee breaks, and get to know your colleagues. At times, a broad perspective is required to tackle a situation!

Your manager could be your mentor, talking to them and requesting solutions is always a good way of building positivity in your work environment and team-work.

8) Keep that Weekend to Yourself!

What do you do on weekends? When was the last time you prioritized yourself and your health over work? Ideally, weekends are not meant for work. However, in case the deadlines are close and working on weekends or holidays is the need of the hour, remember to prioritize! Day-offs are meant for a recharge. Hence, if you forget to rejuvenate yourself on the weekends or day-offs, you might end up feeling over-worked for the entire next week. Indulge in  constructive activities which concern you as a person! Grow in your life, to grow in your work!

Use these eight strategies to feel lighter at work and say goodbye to work-stress. Stay tuned and know more about our Stress Masters Programme to deal better with stress at workplace.

Till Then Stay Positive, Healthy and Stress-free!

Do I go here, Do I go there!!! I want this, No I want that!!! Exasperating isn’t it? Are the multiple choices of our lives pulling you in all directions? Relax and have a PASTA… Intrigued? Watch the video to understand more. Here is this week’s mantra. Watch it and do let me know what your thoughts are.

Read about this in detail on my blog How to avoid conflict in thoughts with awareness

Today I will share a story that is a life lesson on “How to  resolve conflicts in relationships?” In our country there is a common saying – “As the night passes, the problem passes”. I would resort to this tactic as a child many a times when I would be trying to avoid conflicts with my siblings or my friends. An argument during the day or a fight over a petty issue would result in a major showdown. Now, since we were not trained to discuss matters at that tender age, we would hope that the conflict will ‘automatically’ disappear in the depths of the night and I could wake up feeling fresh, as if nothing had happened.

However, every morning I would distinctly remember the last feeling I would carry to bed –  a feeling of discomfort and a wish that my friend or sibling (as the case demanded) would come and patch things up – somewhere even at that tender age, subconsciously I knew that if we spoke things out, I would sleep better and wake up happier.

As I grew older, this became a pattern where I would postpone discussing a problem or misunderstanding with my family or friends, in the hope that things would be better when I woke up – after all, it was a new day! The next day would typically shape up in one the following scenarios:

1. The discussion will pick up where we left it off last night and while the conflict will be resolved, it would leave me tired and relieved at the same time.
2. The day would be a busy one with many things taking priority and the misunderstanding would not get discussed immediately. So either,
   • It will come up as a discussion soon and get resolved. I would walk away with a feeling of relief, hoping I had done this earlier OR
   • The moment will never come soon enough and when it would, the unresolved issue would crop up at the most unexpected moment serving as a catalyst to the current issue at hand! This would leave me perplexed, angry and being treated unfairly.

In any of these scenarios, the feelings running through me would be similar – frustration, helplessness, letdown, anger and stress.

In all the scenarios, the atmosphere around me would be similar – heavy, tentative, less in love and restless.

As I started working, I realized I was susceptible to stress and worked extensively and successfully working on resolving the stress emanating from various sources – office, traffic, pollution, home affairs, slow internet, poor mobile reception etc.

And then, one new perspective shone down at me once I got married and moved to a new city with a new job. New city, new job, new family, new life – exciting, rejuvenating, motivating and anticipating.

Once the two of us settled down into our new home and respective high-flying jobs, the daily fun of life were served on a platter and both of us were having our fill. We had also made a very close set of friends who were frequent collaborators in all the fun-filed activities. One year into this life, a common observation started coming from every friend – our home had such a positive, welcoming feel to it, that it felt like ‘home away from home’ for them.

One Saturday evening, we were preparing for our friends to come over – it was our turn this weekend to host the small group of three couples at our place on Sunday. Everything was going well till we had a difference of opinion on a small matter. It quickly snowballed from a viewpoint to an argument and then into some outbursts and finally to a sulking silence. I quietly picked up a book to read. I also played some music hoping that it will uplift my mood and around. Somehow these things did not work any magic on our respective moods and after a quiet dinner, we called it a day. No further discussion or attempt to resolve the conflict. Just a muted “Good Night”.

As I lay awake, I realized I was uncomfortable but that was not new – I had been uncomfortable earlier in similar situations with my siblings.

I was assured that this will pass as I slept it off and Voila! Come morning, everything would be as good as new!

I dozed off and as the first rays of the sun woke me up the next (Sunday) morning, I was assured all would be well. Imagine the rude shock that awaited me – my spouse who was now my best friend looked under-slept and tired and I was not feeling too good myself. We went about with ‘normal’ conversations hoping we would feel better by the time our friends arrived – In my head, I had shoved the previous evening’s discord under the carpet. After all, “As the night passes, the problem also passes”.

No such miracle happened this time – and I realized the root cause:

1. Drivers of Life had matured with time: I had become aware about the subtle and profound drivers of life – love, harmony, peace, personal growth – material and spiritual, contributor and collaborator to relationships – this instance had impacted all these drivers.
2. Togetherness in my achievements was a necessity – A goal achieved in partnership is enjoyed in double and the associated challenges halved – our friends were coming over and the lunch we had organized was already starting to ‘taste stale’ – thanks to our moods.
3. I was not an ‘ostrich in the sand’ anymore – I could not ignore an unresolved situation – it would keep playing in my head till a strategy gets defined and executed upon. If a heart-to-heart conversation is all that is needed to resolve the situation, I would not want to waste a moment.
4. I never lost sight of my blessings – Gratitude was a state that was now my lifeline – Every moment of my existence I would thank the universe for all the blessings I had in my life.
5. And a profound realization that everyone has the right to look at things from their own perspective – who am I to judge them or impose my outlook on them? This included every near and dear one of mine.

But, before I could act upon this realization and reach out to my spouse for a conversation and resolve the conflict, my friends started arriving – guess what each of them said as they walked in?

“Is something wrong? Your home vibes feel heavy and slow…is everything all right?”

Both of us managed through the lunch – they, being close friends played along and by the time everyone left – we were tired – it was more emotional tiredness than physical.

We both looked at each other and she said, “I hope they had fun”.

We had never speculated on this front in the past one year – since we all were like one big, happy family.

We grabbed the moment that was the key to opening the conversation to resolve the issue that had wasted close to 24 hours of our lives. We discussed and by the end of it were unapologetically apologetic to each other. A heaviness lifted from our hearts and minds and we promised each other that we will always discuss and resolve conflict before saying “Good Night” no matter how petty the issue, no matter how childish the disconnect, no matter how big or small the question, .

No discomfort is ever worth sleeping over – and when you have a loving and caring partner who gives you a listening ear, all that is needed is the will and zeal to bring things back to normal.

It is now 16 years since that incident and that was the first and last time that we made each other go through the trauma of those 24hours. We resolve conflicts as they arise.

Those 24hours have been a life lesson that I have tried to implement across all my relations. If I have to breakdown this life lesson into realizations that were its milestones, this is how the list would look:

• I am half the culprit: Every situation that transpires in my life, has me playing 50 percent of the part. I cannot point a finger at the other with this statistic.
• The foundation stone is sacrosanct: No incident is worth the risk on your relation. The foundation of a relation is trust and dependability. If one cannot discuss things out with the other, the foundation could get compromised.
• The environment is a magnet: What you are inside is what the environment will attract. To resolve the conflict, I have to be open and honest, creating an environment that will be conducive to finding the solution.
• Everyone’s ‘model of world’ is unique: No two models match – so why should I bet on the other person accepting my viewpoint without giving hers? Her background and experiences would have shaped her outlook and she must be given her airtime.
• Life’s Every Moment is a Teacher: Stay a student and keep learning from every miniscule experience of life – this is an organic growth in our mind and spirit that dissolves disputes and discords ‘automatically’.

Resolve Conflict, Have a Good Night! You will Stay Healthy and Stress-free!!

The other day my friend’s father passed on at a young age. My friend and I were devastated, shocked and angry at the same time. We had run from hospital to hospital in the hope that he will be saved. Now that all was over, we were up in arms against the doctors who were treating him.

My friend Joe’s father was suffering from renal issues. His diagnoses was delayed due to the doctor’s negligence which had further delayed the treatment. The result was that his life was cut short when he was in his early ‘50s.

We already had an initial argument with the doctor, and we were now planning to go back to him and give him another our piece of mind – this was in the hope that we will feel better. While we were discussing this in my friend’s room, his grandfather walked in. He was a frail but healthy man in his late 70s and the sudden loss of his son had made him frailer. He had arrived that morning after getting the news of his son’s death.

He slowly walked towards the chair in the far end of the room and sat down tired and sad. We walked across to him and sat near his feet on the carpet. We told him about our plans to go the doctor and confront him about the delayed diagnoses and treatment. He kept quiet for a while and wiping a teat, softly asked, “Are you sure the doctor is responsible for my son’s death?”

“Yes, Grandpa!!!”, We said in unison

He shrugged his shoulders and continued, “Maybe there were some obvious delays from the experts, but the doctors were not the real cause of my son’s death.”

Joe was perplexed and angry at the same time, “Grandpa, if not the doctors, then who is responsible?”

Grandfather said, “Your father’s anger!”

Joe said, “Yes, my father was short-tempered and disappointed with many things that he faced in the outside world, but that does not make Anger his killer.”

Grandfather said, “You are young, and this is the reason you are not able to spot the obvious. Did you ever see your father in peace once he was home?”

Joe was forced to replay his father’s time at home and realized how he always saw his father:

• On the edge
• Feeling Irritated
• Refusing to let go of his resentment
• Under pressure
• Finding faults in others
• Judging others
• Denying himself happiness
• Looking gloomy
• In haste,
• Not appreciating others
• Not enjoying relationships and in general,
• Not enjoying life

Joe agreed reluctantly but a realization had also started to set in in both of us.

Grandfather said further, “Slowly your father had become secluded from others and was left alone with his anger and sadness. The added challenge was that angry people like him do not take care of their health properly. They are negligent towards their dietary habits and do not take anyone’s advice. Slowly, one illness after another crept in silently and by the time he realized the damage, it was too late. Now, tell me, do you still blame the doctors?”

We sat silently, redirecting our minds to the real issue on hand. All the eyes in the room were moist but realization had also set in.

Later in the evening, when I reached home, I started looking for information. I came to know the astonishing, eye-opening facts which were in line with what Joe’s Grandfather was telling us earlier.

A journal read, “Stress and uncontrolled reactions to stress can also lead to kidney damage. Kidneys are filters of our body and they are prone to problems with blood circulation and blood vessels. High blood pressure and blood sugar can place more strain on kidneys. That is the reason people with diabetes and high blood pressure are at a high risk of kidney disease and vice a versa. Therefore, if you want to prevent heart or kidney disease or improve health while living with heart and/or kidney disease then managing your stress is an important part of overall health maintenance.”

I understood that stress created anger in Joe’s father and this anger created more stress in his body & mind. This was a vicious cycle which was hard to break for him and his health kept spiraling downwards.

The collateral damage was that his anger negatively affected people around him and their reactions increased his stress exponentially. I concluded – Joe’s grandfather was right. Anger had killed Joe’s father.

I searched for answers on how to manage and control my anger in easy steps.

And I found the answer –

A Mantra that says, “The Action of No Action”.

‘Action of No Action’ in this context means that you make a habit not to perform certain actions or perform certain actions which are not outward facing.

Do not perform the below actions

• Judging others for their words or actions
• Rising to the bait of getting angry due to other people’s actions
• Compulsion to eat heavy fatty food
• Taking too much salt and caffeine
• Taking too much sugar

And perform the below inward actions

• Set aside time for relaxation diligently – you will start looking forward to this ‘break’
• Adopt a relaxation technique (yoga, meditation, etc.) – this will change everything about your day as the benefits are exponential
• Perform some prayer before you start the day and before you fall asleep – this brings gratitude
• Make time for friends, loved ones, coaches – they always help you stay grounded and relaxed
• Sleep on time, sleep tight, sleep light
• Plan a vacation that suits you

Someone told me “Learn from other people’s experience, as you will not live long enough to experience everything yourself”. How true and poignant!

The ‘Action of No Action’ is my mantra now – make it yours and enjoy a life that is free from the bondage of anger.

As you switch your mind gears to ride the ‘Action of No Action’…Enjoy the drive, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free!! 

Are you suffering from Poor Sleep?

Or

Are you losing energy due to poor sleep?

Or

Are you not able to focus on your work due to poor sleep?

Or

Are you not able to find the energy for your relationships due to poor sleep?

Or

Are you feeling Irritated and cranky due to poor sleep?

“Daily Regime and right food” are the solutions for the above issues. You might find what I am proposing unusual as a solution, but it is true. But before I get into details of it, I would like to explain what I mean by Daily Regime and the right food.

The ‘regime’ is a dreaded word and brings bad memories of hard work and failure to many of us. Isn’t it?

Right Food also might bring back memories of giving up food you like, hunger, etc. Isn’t it?

But I am not talking about a daily regime which you cannot follow nor wil it cause you trauma.

What I am asking you here is to create a schedule of your liking and to achieve what you want in your life.

What you have to realize is that you might be spending a major part of your day watching TV, chatting, aimlessly browsing the social media, etc. Unknowingly you waste your time in these aimless activities. This is a reactive or aimless lifestyle. What generally happens is that you have not planned a major portion of your day or in other words, you have just thought about a few essential activities for the day like

1. Getting up and freshening up
2. Having breakfast
3. Getting ready and checking the news
4. Going to work
5. Having lunch and dinner

The day you do not go to work, you will notice that your time to get up in the morning also changes. Getting ready on time is no more required and you have the full day to yourself. Only eating and sleeping is essential for that day.

Are you one of those people who waste their precious time and energy daily? If yes, then you should know that when you waste your time, your sub-conscious mind knows you are wasting the time and it creates stress. Stress makes you lose your energy.

All aimless things happen because we have not set a daily schedule or regime. If you have a good schedule you can use your time wisely. At the scheduled time, you will enjoy your recreational time even more. That’s a fact. People who are successful work very hard but also enjoy hard. Have you seen one of them enjoying?!!

If you look carefully there is a lot of time in between your essential activities. There you can schedule some activities which interest you.

Answer one question: What do you do when you wake up in the morning? Your options are:

1. You look for your mobile
2. You wish you could sleep more
3. You look forward to the day
4. You look at the watch and feel you are late

If you do not make a regime for the day then you are going the reactive way. So, if you are choosing option 1,2, and 4 you are choosing an accidental life. Only people who have a plan for the day will choose option 3.

Have you noticed on your Birthday you are always choosing option 3? What is the difference between any other day and your birthday?

One day this question was asked by a teacher to a student. Rama was an average student in the class, and he was upset about his results. This was his last year in the university and he had big dreams. He knew that there is something wrong in his working style and that if this is the way he continued, he will not be able to achieve his dreams. He was contemplating this in a library when he suddenly saw his teacher coming towards him.  The teacher sat in front of him and asked him why he looked so sad? Rama told him his concern. The teacher asked, “Do you sleep properly?” Rama answered, “No”

“Do you eat properly?”, the teacher asked. Rama said, “No”.

The teacher asked him “Do you follow a daily regime?” Rama answered, “No”.

The teacher asked, “Why?”

Rama answered, “I do not like discipline. It is boring and too predictable.”

The teacher asked, “How do you feel on your birthday?”

Rama answered, “I feel very happy throughout the day.”

Teacher, “Are the activities on your birthday predictable?”

Rama, “Yes”

Teacher, “Why?”

Rama, “Because I look forward to the day.”

Teacher, “Exactly. This is what happens when you are filling your day with activities you like. It is not the schedule or predictability of the day which is boring. It is filling your day with the activities which you do not want or living reactively which tires you mentally. This might make you go to sleep at the wrong time or only makes you tired. This is the reason for your poor sleep. So, make a regime at night for the next day and try to fill it with activities which will help reach your goals. Also, eating the right food at the right time is very much essential to getting the right sleep and achieving your goals. More you are passionate about the goal; more you will look forward to the day. You will stop wasting time and start enjoying life.”

Rama thanked his teacher and started working on his daily regime. He completed his university education with good grades and started realizing his dreams successfully, one by one.

So, if you want to reduce your stress, you need to follow a daily regime and food is a big part of it. Fruits, green vegetables and berries should be included in your daily food. These will give your body a dose of antioxidants which are essential for a healthy immune system. Also eating your food on time is very important to get a good sleep. Too full a stomach gives you bad sleep. So, what you need to do is:

1. Set your goal
2. Write the purpose of your goal
3. Keep it on display so you can recall it daily
4. Divide your goal into small daily targets
5. Fit these daily targets into your daily routine (As per your comfort)
6. Add nutritious food in your daily meals
7. Fix a time for your meals
8. Keep track of your food and activities daily
9. Reward yourself if you achieve your routine
10. Keep repeating your routine (At least for 18 months) till it becomes your new habit

Till I see you with my next thoughts – Enjoy Life, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free!

You would have noticed that when we are stressed, you find it very difficult to efficiently deal with the tasks on hand. Your success rate goes down and you start to experience failure.

So, what happens when you face failure caused due to stress?

When you are in chronic stress:

1. Your Brain size can reduce
2. Your brain parts can stop communicating with each other
3. You can have mental issues later in your life
4. You will be hit with a tsunami of stress chemicals
5. You will damage your heart or any other organ due to continuous stress

All the above symptoms are the recipe for failure. Once your mind and body are not performing at their peak or at least to their optimum capacity, you will see a considerable drop in your success rate.

So, how do you come out of this vicious circle of stress and failure, where it is hard to tell what came first – Stress or failure?

An easy but very powerful remedy for this is Meditation. What does meditation give you?

Meditation helps you in:

1. Enhancing your Memory
2. Focusing
3. Killing negative Emotions
4. Coming out of your Depressing thoughts
5. Reducing Stress
6. Reducing Anxiety
7. Reducing Brain Fog
8. Reducing High Blood Pressure
9. Reducing Chronic Pain
10. Reducing Sleep Problems
11. Disciplining yourself

With enhanced memory, focus and control over your emotions you are set for success. Meditation not only helps you with your current depressing thoughts but also saves you from future stress and anxiety attacks. This gives you the essential elements required for success.

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Arjun who wanted to become a great archer. He was a good archer, but he wanted to become the best. He used to practice every day but after a while, he stopped progressing in his skills. A time came when the harder he tried, the worse were the results. One day he decided to ask his teacher for help. His teacher heard him carefully and said, “We will start practising tomorrow.” Next morning, as both of them stood in the practice arena, the Teacher asked Arjun, “Before you shoot the arrow let me know what is going on in your mind.” Arjun said, “I am thinking of hitting the bullseye.” The Teacher said, “Stand down. I know you will not succeed today.” Arjun was surprised, felt hurt but insisted on trying. The moment he shot the arrow, he missed the mark and his head went down in shame. His teacher then told him lovingly, “Trust me. I know what your problem is. Just follow my instructions.” Arjun felt calmer and nodded in affirmation.

The Teacher took Arjun to a forest and when they came to a stream, he asked Arjun to clear a place under a tree where Arjun could sit comfortably.

The Teacher asked Arjun to close his eyes and meditate until he thoughts and biases stop bothering him. Arjun practised this daily for 3 months till he became thoughtless while meditating.

Now the Teacher took Arjun to the practice arena and asked him to practice.

As Arjun took his aim, the teacher asked him, “What are you thinking?” Arjun said, “Nothing”

The teacher asked,” What do you see?” Arjun said, “The target”

The teacher said,” Shoot” and Arjun hit the bull’s eye with ease.

Arjun asked happily “What was wrong with me? How is it that without practising for the past few months I seem to have become better?”

The teacher said, “There was nothing wrong with your skills. It was your mind which was stressed by your obsession to become a champion. That’s why I asked you to meditate and clear your head of the stress, so you can succeed.”

Arjun bowed to his teacher in reverence for the valuable lesson.

So, what do you need to do when you are failing?

1. Take a break from the task on hand
2. Look at the reason behind your failures
3. If it is stress, then sit for a few minutes in meditation
4. You will experience clarity in your mind
5. Your awareness will increase
6. And, with a clear mind and high awareness success will be yours!

See you next week. Till then, Keep Meditating, Stay Healthy and Stress-free!! 

Stress is one of the most common causes of Brain Fog. In this Blog, I give you “The Ultimate Guide to Clear Stress-created ‘Brain Flog’ with meditation”

Brain fatigue and lack of focus are the main symptoms of Brain fog caused due to stress. Brain fog not only weakens your memory and creates difficulties over conversations, but also creates nervousness and anxiety in you. You will experience increased forgetfulness and your thinking will become hazy.

To read and understand about brain fog in detail, you can read my blog Rise and Shine! Brain Fog is now put to rest!

If you look at your symptoms, you will very easily conclude that you need to relax, create more focus and still your mind for some time so your mind can rejuvenate – but how? The good news is that you can achieve all of this with meditation. It is proven that meditation can help reduce:

1. Anxiety
2. Stress
3. Depression
4. High Blood Pressure
5. Sleep problems
6. Tension Headaches
7. Chronic pain
8. Brain Fog

Having said that, will the same technique of meditation help in reducing the above issues? Is there a specific type of meditation that should be practiced for a certain situation?

The answer is “Yes, there are many types of meditation and each type gives a specific result”.

1. Mantra Meditation: When you chant a Mantra and meditate, the power of vibrations created by the recital of the mantras helps you to relax and transcend the mind. The Mantra should be taken from an enlightened Master, who understands your nature and accordingly gives you a specific mantra.
2. Awareness / Mindfulness Meditation: When you become an observer and see everything as a 3rd party, you go beyond your thoughts – this is called Awareness meditation.
3. Guided Meditation: This is where someone guides you through the entire meditation in a step-by-step process. I practice the “6-Step Nirmal Meditation” technique created by Guruji Prem Nirmal. This is one of the most effective and powerful guided meditation technique in my experience.
4. Sound Meditation (Nada Meditation): When you meditate with sound and vibrations created using calibrated bowls and pipes, this is called sound meditation. This meditation should be done under the guidance of a Sound practitioner.
5. Jyoti Meditation (Meditation on Flame): This meditation is done by focusing on the flame of a Diya or Candle. This meditation should be done under the guidance of a practitioner.
6. Breath Meditation: A person can perform certain breathing techniques (Pranayam, Kriya Yoga etc.) learnt under the guidance of a Master or practitioner and then follow it up with meditation.

There are many more types of meditation but here, I have mentioned the few most prevalent techniques.

So, are all the above techniques good for brain fog removal? Before I answer this question let me write some issues created because of people’s misconceptions about meditation.

In general, people think meditation is only to relax your mind and so, some people sleep during meditation and considered this as normal. But is this meditation? No – meditation is a state of mind where you relax but at the same time, you are alert and aware.

For non-practitioners or inaccurate practices of meditation, being in a state of relaxation and alertness/awareness at the same time is not possible.

Some people complain that they have a foggy brain after meditation – again, this is not possible if you are truly practicing and meditating right. These symptoms generally happen due to chemical imbalances or following incorrect methods of meditation – this makes you feel more drowsy or non-focused after a failed attempt at meditation.

Now, to answer the question: Which meditation is good for removing Brain Fog? I recommend Jyoti / Candle Flame meditation.

Step-by-step guide to performing this meditation

The ideal time to perform this meditation during twilight to get the best results (if this is not possible, choose a time of the day when it is peaceful around you):

1. You need to create a Diya (Indian lamp) using Ghee (Indian butter), Cotton to make a wick or simply take a candle.
2. Sit straight in a comfortable posture
3. Place the Diya or candle in front of you 2 to 3 feet away.
4. The height of the Diya or candle should be at the height of your third eye i.e. leveled at the area between your eyebrows
5. First, take 10 deep breaths and then focus your eyes on the tip of the flame
6. Look at the flame tip without blinking, till your eyes get watery (you should not hurt your eyes if you feel any type of discomfort please stop this practice)
7. Now, close your eyes and meditate
8. You will see the shadow of the flame with your closed eyes. Focus on it
9. Perform this practice every day

With constant practice, you will start to see your focus and concentration power increasing. It is my recommendation that if you want to practice Jyoti Meditation, you learn it from a practitioner. I will be happy to teach anyone interested – please send me a message on my website (www.nuancesinphinite.com).

Word of Caution:

If you feel a burning sensation in your eyes, wash your eyes with clean cool water and stop the Jyoti meditation practice. If this issue continues, please consult a doctor. If you have weak eyes or a certain eye condition, please practice this meditation only after consulting your doctor.

Focus on the light, Stay Healthy and Stress-free!!