In this blog, we shall talk about gratitude, the antidote to mental illness. But what is this gratitude? How it is different from thankfulness? Gratitude is a feeling which comes from within and it can come for the benefits received by you or for nothing. Thankfulness is an act from the person who received the benefits. Gratitude can be expressed in thankfulness. A ‘Thank You’ with the feeling of gratitude has the power to transform your life and change its course towards positivity. It is a powerful cure to your mental block and illness. How? We shall talk about it further in the blog. Since the coronavirus pandemic has struck the entire world, thousands of people have been finding it difficult to keep a control on their emotions of hopelessness and agony. The necessary evil, i.e. the lockdown has also pushed many people into solitude and without human touch, most of them are finding it difficult to maintain a high life state. However, in such situations we often forget that no matter what the situation, one has numerous things they can be thankful for. Why should one be thankful for everything they have? Let me answer that question with a short example.

Mike, a young lad, had recently been offered his dream job. He was extremely excited as he joined the firm and wanted to display his potential to his best. Suddenly his company had some issues and to support his company he started shouldering more responsibilities beyond his job specifications. Everything worked in his favour, he was in constant touch with his manager, and he was being appreciated at great lengths as he worked at his best for a few months. However, gradually, he began to feel that the levels of appreciation have reduced. He began to feel as if he is working for no gains. He started to lose his interest and began to feel that his company and manager has probably taken him for granted. He felt as if he isn’t being respected and this eventually became evident in his quality of work.  “I am taken for granted in this company!”, “Everyone here is thankless!” This is what he thought. On the other hand, his manager had begun to believe that Mike had reduced his dialogue with him and has stopped respecting him. “I think he has taken me for granted. He is not feeling gratitude towards how well I trained him. Maybe he forgot how well I trained him at the start!”, his manager thought.

One factor became the sole reason for the dispute in Mike’s work life, i.e. Lack of Gratitude. One cannot feel the zeal to do well at a place where there’s lack of appreciation. It is a vicious cycle of negative energy. You attract what you believe in. Overload of fear, lack of appreciation, and negative energy swarms your life and seizes the functions of your mind. This in turn leads to mental illness. However, basing your actions on gratitude and thanking your surroundings for what you have instead of focusing on what you don’t, leads you towards abundance!

How does gratitude cure mental illness?

1) Improved Sleep: Balanced and sufficient sleep is a must for a peaceful state of mind. People who realise the importance of gratitude in their lives end their day by thanking the universe for everything they have. This creates a focus on things that are positive in life. Sleeping on positive and happy thoughts results in a satisfying sleep. Gratitude also releases stress and helps relieve anxiety and depression which results in better sleep. Gratitude in this manner improves sleep, thus, in turn, maintaining the balance of mind.
2) Self-love: Once you realize that you are fortunate to have a healthy body and mind, which are the key ingredients for success, and you’re fortunate in numerous terms for your life, your gratitude towards your life increases. This will reduce your self-criticism and will increase your self-love. You love what you have, and you begin to accept yourself the way you are. Focus on ‘what is’ than ‘what is not’ shoots up self-love and makes way for positivity in life.
3) Building effective social relationships: Gratitude is the key to building effective and fruitful relationships with society. Man, being a social animal, depends on society to a great extent for his well-being. When you begin appreciating and paying gratitude to the person next to you, you build harmonious relationships. Harmony and goodwill help an individual in maintaining mental health.

Begin paying gratitude in your daily life in the following manner:

1) Appreciate and accept yourself, the way you look, the way you think, your achievements as well as your failures. Begin by writing what you really love about yourself and meditate on those positive thoughts. Be thankful for what you have and begin focusing on working upon yourself to grow in life each day.

2) Appreciate your family, your friends, the society you live in. Pay gratitude to the person in front of you. It is not necessary to always show to them that you’re thankful. Being grateful at heart is conveyed through positive energy.

3) Pay gratitude to the universe for all the materialistic things you possess.

Where there’s gratitude, there’s abundance. Use the power of gratitude to fill your life with positivity.

Stay Grateful, Happy, and  Stress-free!

What comes to your mind, when we think of the word ‘Being’? We, as humans, recognize ourselves with reference to the three pillars of our existence, the mind, the body and the universe. A balance between the mind as well as the body has been known to be the basis of sanity, and our connection with the environment defines our social character and further decides our well-being.  In my previous blog, we discussed how the human body is formed by the five elements, i.e. earth, air, water, fire and space. Their balance, in numerous ways, decides our life condition as well as health. Let me further elaborate on the way each element affects our body, as well as mind and the outcomes of element imbalance.

The ancient traditional Indian medicine system, known as the Ayurveda, focuses on maintaining health through takingcare of your diet, enhancing the power of the mind and controlling stress through practices such as meditation. The roots of the element theory are also believed to lay in the ideas of Hippocrates, the father of medicine.  Natural therapy, or Naturopathy, introduced in its modern form in 1902 by Benjamin Lust, had faded in its charm over time, with the proliferation of modern medicine. However, in the contemporary world, it has regained its admiration, owing to the limits of modern medicine being tested repeatedly. The system of Naturopathy, as well as that of Ayurveda, comprises the sole belief in the removal of toxins from the mind as well as the body, creating a balance between the five elements for seeking a healthy life state.

How does the element imbalance affect our mind and body?

Each element affects us on two levels, physiological as well as psychological.

{The physiological stratum refers to our body, i.e. the physical self. The psychological stratum refers to the functions of our mind.}

1. The Earth Element:

The Earth element, being the element of highest density is connected directly to the entire body mass. Its excess causes obesity and lack cause emaciation. The generalization of the Earth element in itself tells you the psychological aspects of it. ‘To be down to Earth’ is often considered a virtue, unless it is in state of excess. The more the Earth element is imbalanced in your being, the more you feel ‘stuck in your own head’, stuck in emotions and lack self-confidence or on the contrary, you are in a constant state of apathy. Brain Fog is another common condition arising from Earth imbalance. The lack of the Earth element pushes you away from emotions and from the sense of life itself.

Natural Ways to Balance the Earth Element:

• Eat foods which are lighter on the digestive system
• Devise ways to manage your time and energy efficiently;
• Enjoy the smell of the earth, touch nature once in a day; a walk on the grass barefoot is the best way to stay connected with the Earth element
• The Ayurveda recommends the Balneotherapy or the Mud therapy to balance the Earth element in your body
• Sound and Vibration Therapy helps in balancing the Earth element
• Meditation on your Mooladhaar Chakra (the Base Chakra) also helps you to balance your Earth element

2. The Water Element:

With direct nexus with all the significant fluids of the body, the Water element takes cares of your blood circulation and controls the body function effectively. Our bodies are made of 60 to 65% water, and its imbalance creates issues in the proper functioning of the body and mind. The system of natural medicine believes water to possess a sense of memory. It is said to retain energy and affect its carrier accordingly. Health issues such as lethargy and kidney-related disorders are a result of Water imbalance.

Natural Ways to Balance the Water Element:

• Drink water, as pure as possible, free from toxins
• Consumption of alkaline, structured water is the best way to neutralize the acidity in the body and balance the entire system
• Hydrotherapy, i.e. external usage of water in different forms is another recommended technique to balance the Water element
• Taking dips regularly in Sea or river water (which are full of minerals) cleans the water element of the body
• Sound and Vibration Therapy helps in balancing the Water element
• Meditating on the Swadhisthaan chakra (Sex Chakra) helps in balancing the water element

We shall talk about Fire, Air, and Space elements and the impact of their imbalance on our lives in my next blog.

Till then, Enjoy your being’s balance, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free!

"He who is unable to live in a society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god" - Aristotle

To begin our discussion about our relationship with the society, I consider it mandatory to mention the great ancient Greek philosopher and polymath, Aristotle. Those who have never read about Aristotle might wonder how an ancient Greek philosopher is relevant in the modern world of today!

Aristotle is famous for his significant contributions into every aspect of life. He describes a human being as a social creature, i.e. a human being, according to Aristotle, cannot lead a good life in solitude.

Today,I would like to tell you about an incident which gave me a new perspective to my life.

I visited my childhood friend, Nikhil after almost a decade, on his father’s 87^th birthday. Nikhil works as a General Manager for a large corporation in India. For a very long time, he had been trying to tackle certain grave conflicts at his workplace, with his friends as well as within his family. For his father’s birthday, he had decided to host a grand party and was secretly hoping that his initiatives might improve his relationship with his parents.

As I spoke to him in the party, I realized that Nikhil had been struggling on every front; his days and nights were all about complaining, harboring negativity and despondency. Our conversation was filled with negativity. This was when his old-aged father joined us – he sat quietly and heard us through the remainder of our talks.

And then the wise, old man spoke to Nikhil -

“Nikhil, tell me honestly, have you ever considered recognizing yourself apart from the roles you play; of a father, a son, a General Manager, or a friend? Have you ever looked at yourself from a third person’s perspective? Each of those around you reacts to you as per what they see. Have you tried to see what they see? I have been searching for Nikhil for a very long time. I only get to meet the GM. You create your world. The reactions people give you is a reflection of who they see - if they see a humble and warm person they react accordingly and  if they see an arrogant, self-involved person then they react that way.

Look at how you interact with people and I can guarantee things will change...”

Nikhil was taken aback by his father’s words. He went quiet for the next few hours. He called me next day morning and told me his father’s words had really made an impact on him. From that day onwards, Nikhil had started to focus on his behavior, and leading his life differently, for better.

I met him a year later, he was a smiling happy and a very cool guy – someone who looked similar to the Nikhil I had known from my childhood.

What are the recurring questions on this subject in our minds? Let’s find out.

1). How Can the Society Shape My Life?

Our beliefs and opinions are all placed as per the surroundings we have lived in. An ignorant mass of human beings tend to produce an ignorant human being, and an awakened group of people nourishes and often produces an awakened intellectual. Your surroundings & environment play a major role in shaping up your life. A positive environment automatically enhances your creativity, and a negative one pulls you into a pit of inaction and complaint. However, let me call this trait of society not a characteristic but a tendency. It is in your hands whether or not can you maintain a healthy relationship with your environment, take out the good from it and leave the rest.

2) Can I Change my Conditions? How?

• Gratitude and Appreciation: Two Pillars of a Happy Life

Before you begin your day, think back to the things that have contributed to your life. Understanding other’s contribution increases gratitude for everything you have in your life. Colleagues, fellow travelers, juniors, seniors, friends, family, or house-helps, everyone around you shall cherish an appreciative remark once in a while. Make the person next to you smile;good vibes shall comeback to you.

• Align your Mission with your Vision

Your life needs to have a mission as well as a vision. Mission is your personal goal, however, vision refers to a greater good. The universe, i.e. surroundings plays the most important role in your success. All success stories of today have a vision of a greater good, of providing the society with something for its betterment, hence the universe responds in a similar way.

From the endless list of practical and running examples for the same, Tesla stations itself as a global leading automotive firm, with a vision,

Tesla, with its beautiful vision of gifting an absolute pollution-free environment to the society is the core reason for its tremendous success.

• Do Not Let Social Anxiety Get the Better of You

Through my previous blog series on the Law of attraction, I tried to make my readers realize that you control everything in your life. Begin with working on your physical as well as mental health, maintain a diary for daily productivity and gradually break out of your cocoon. The world is ready to accept you the way you are; all you need to do is make the first move!

• Know the Bigger Picture

Pick your battles. Every time you’re about to get into a conflict with anyone, pause for a second and ask yourself, “Will my reaction here help me in future?” If the answer is no, take a deep breath and move on. 

It is important to look at yourself from the perspective of the society to maintain a healthy relationship with the same. Healthy relationships lead to a healthy mind, further leading to realization of personal dreams of success and happiness and your happiness flows through the society you live in.

The More you Give, The More comes back to You – giving momentum to your Vision.

Spread Joy! Stay Healthy and Stress-free! 

“Success needs hard work? Or, success depends on luck?" These are your thoughts as you wait at the bus stop for the 9.00 a.m. bus on a Monday morning, all set for your job promotion interview. You are sharply dressed in a crisp white shirt with a tie on, and a pair of black trousers.

“Shall I be successful in the interview today? Will I get the promotion? What can I do to prove my worth?”

You notice a man with the magazine that has “Top 100 Most Influential People” as its lead story.

Will this prompt you to think deeper?

Success, for you, at that moment would be equal to getting the promotion.

However, success is not the matter of one moment. It needs investment in the form of diligence, the way a seed needs constant nurture to grow into a tree.

Think of an individual who is successful according to you, and notice their traits. Do they respond to your question confidently or do they fumble? Do they seem passionate about their life, or do they complain? There are a few traits that are common across all successful individuals:

1. Learn to appreciate yourself and the universe!

What we sow, so shall we reap! This is a universal law known to everyone. Whatever we give to the universe comes back to us in equal proportion.

An animal trapped in a mirror box growls at his own reflection, thinking it to be another animal. Its scorn comes back to it from all sides, multifold. The universe is no different to a mirror box. Learn to appreciate the way you are and learn to respect others.

You decide the way the world treats you!

An individual who understands this law is bound to succeed in life.

2. Open up your mind, be receptive towards others’ views, and take risks!

Listen carefully what people have to offer. The stereotype of staying aloof in order to focus on career and be successful has not led to much success in the real world.

Today, we constantly gather information, but once our minds are full – we stop listening, our mind gets saturated and we suffer from brain fog. It is important for us to empty our minds to enhance creativity. Adequate amount of sleep is one way of providing rest to a tired mind.

Our life revolves around the beliefs and ideas we inculcate. However, being dismissive to new ideas and the risks they bring along is not a good sign.

Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook once remarked, “…the only strategy guaranteed to fail is not taking risks!”

You need to gear up to take risks in order to grow in life. Fear of stagnancy is much higher than the fear of loss in successful people!

Listen to understand, to gain knowledge, and to achieve wisdom.

3. Focus on daily, short term goals! Start small, and scale them higher with discipline!

Think of your life as a Kids Bank Account. You save little by little hoping to draw a fat saving amount in the future. Focusing on daily goals and working towards them opens the gateway for greater success in life.

However, if you fail in some instances, this should not pull you down. It is immensely important to remain motivated on a regular basis. Remind yourself of your goal every time you seem to lag behind. Action aligned to discipline gives results.

Every day should end analyzing your highs and lows during the day. Achieving daily targets provides the push to move forward towards the larger goal. Spending some time meditating on yourself and seeking some ‘me time’ on a daily basis is a habit to be developed for achieving greater heights.

4. Stay in the present , discarding the junk from the past! Accept your failure, forgive yourself, learn and move on!

When was the last time you felt you’ve conquered the world? Do you remember the feeling of that extreme happiness?

Remember your high points in life and strive every moment to feel the same way. Focusing constantly on aligning yourself to positivity is a way of life for successful people.

Be a wise judge of what to keep and what to discard from past memories, and keep moving ahead in life. Failures are memories to learn from. No one has ever grown in life if he or she decides to stagnate.

As Winston Churchill says “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm…”, accept, forgive yourself, learn and move on!

An eagle can foresee a storm. Instead of hiding away, it flies to a high point, sets its wings in such a way that the winds lift it higher than the storm itself.

Failures are the storms in your life, above which, a successful individual soars like an eagle!

Success in life mandatorily needs clarity of vision, intention and dedication. Elon Musk, CEO of automobile giant Tesla Motors, has a mission to enable global automobile transition towards sustainable energy. Despite numerous challenges, he has begun to live his vision. His mission resonates with the universe, and hence possesses utmost potential for success!

Every successful individual has stories that are stepping stones to his success!

When are you planning to begin writing your own story?

If you want to understand how and where to start, let’s have a conversation.

You are the autobiographer – Create your success story and as you do so, Stay Healthy and Stress-free!

Success, what is it? There is a lot of discussion on the internet about how to succeed in life and what are the key steps that need to be followed to achieve everything that our hearts desire in terms of fame, wealth and glory. Have we ever wondered, what exactly are our dreams, and what exactly does our heart desire? Do we know ourselves well before we embark on this trip towards success?

The famous Greek philosopher Socratesonce said, “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom”.

It is important for us to realize that knowing ourselves does not necessarily mean knowing our inner selves. The body and the mind are designed to work in collaboration, and hence, knowledge about the mind is exceedingly related to knowledge about the body.

Success Is Knowing Our Body:

Change is inevitable with growing age. Respecting such transformations in your body and keeping a check on your energy levels is important for your inner as well as outer self to function properly.

Let me tell you certain simple questions we should constantly ask ourselves to keep our lives on track and enjoy success at every venture.

1. How are my eating habits? Am I eating wise?

In our hearts, we know which foods suit us. Does the food we eat make us lethargic for the day or does it give us adequate energy? Shouldn’t you avoid a heavy dinner in case you have to go for a run early in the morning the next day? Our experiences have guided us enough about what is healthy and unhealthy for our bodies.

Since each one of our selves is different, there is no one but ourselves who can prioritize our health and keep our eating habits in place.

2. How much rest does my body need?

You might sleep for six hours and feel active, but your friend might need at least eight hours of sleep to get back on track.

We need to figure out how much sleep our body requires, while making sure we do not over-sleep, since the latter not only delays our productivity, but also sends the wrong signal to our brain which in turn affects our body clock.

Do not let your brain make a fool out of you!

3. What kind of physical activity is necessary for my body?

As I mentioned in my previous blog on the importance of exercise in our lives where in the past, my high-pressure job at a bank had gifted me a truck load of stress and extra 15 kgs of weight. I did not realize the importance of exercising for my body until I met a friend who played squash. I started playing the game and cycling on a daily basis, when my physical condition began to improve and I began to enjoy my life! My body needed this kind of physical activity.

Run, stretch out, for your body needs you as much as you need your body!

Success Is Knowing Our Mind And Changing Your Mindset:

Are you extremely irritable? Do you feel angered at even the slightest of traffic on the roads in the morning, or at a tiny inconvenience? How do you tackle negative situations?

As I began my journey of self-transformation, I came across questions about myself at the very first step. I was asked by my mentors, as to what are my strengths and my weaknesses, because until I knew my weaknesses, how could I begin working upon them? Through analyzing my daily routine, and keeping a check on my actions, I began to figure out my high as well as low points. Exercising had become my high point, and stress was my primary weakness!

1. Evaluating your Strengths:

Instances where you feel a rush through your gut and a desire to scream out, ‘this is my moment!’ are those highs you need to live for. You are either born with certain strengths or you choose to inculcate them in the course of your life. It may be the god-gift of a good voice, a knack of delivering a speech on the stage, the trick of making a buyer fall in love with your product, your way of handling stressful situations, your goodwill towards others or physical fitness! Your strength is what keeps you in a high life condition. You need to recognize and cherish your strength and not let any external force doubt your qualities.

Learn to appreciate yourself because it is a pillar for building self-confidence!

2. Evaluating your Weaknesses:

‘I know I can’t handle this situation well. I think it is best for me to escape this kind of stress!’ Do you get such thoughts often? Such a thought may seem extremely negative; however, not realizing where you lack is often worse. An escape in the correct manner is never a negative trait. Your weaknesses are situations where you stoop down to a low life condition, blaming yourself and the others. Best to know your enemy well before you jump into the war zone!

Plan your days in a manner to work towards changing your lows into your highs! This is the best possible way to lead your life!

Richard Bach’s famously illustrated novella ‘Johnathan Livingston Seagull’ tells the life of Johnathan, an ordinary Seagull who goes out of its way to  know more about its desires and ambitions, to learn the mechanics of flight, when his elders always believed that seagulls can never be champions of flight! Johnathan succeeds when he decides to step out of preconceptions and work hard on itself!

Why waste time on the outer world when you can spend time on yourselves, constructively?

When do you plan on working for a healthy physical as well as mental life-state?

If you want to understand how and where to start, let’s have a conversation.

Think about this – introspect and make that resolve and enjoy success. As you exercise this resolve, Stay Healthy & Stress-free!!

Have you ever been in a situation where your heart and brain work in the opposite direction? When your heart says, ‘come on, chase your dreams’, but your brain pulls you in the opposite path stating, ‘it is impossible to achieve’.

In the beginning, your adrenaline rushes and you are ready to face all the challenges, but slowly when you start making the necessary move, the sense of fear moves stealthily in your mind. Suddenly you are overpowered by your negative thoughts and self-doubts.

Where do these fears come from? Why can't we overcome them? Is it our self-ignorance, lack of confidence or scarcity of resources?

No, it is not that simple. This behaviour is called self-sabotaging and it is the result of several factors and events in our life that compels us to believe we are not born to or we are not made to achieve, what we are striving for.

And guess what?

We succumb to this and give up our actual dreams to lead a life that everybody wants us to lead. The bad news is we all become a victim of self-harm at least once in our lifetime, especially when we do not have anyone to coach us.

So, let us look at a few ways in which we unknowingly impair our own success.

1. The Dearth Of Support From Family

People we are surrounded with have a very strong impact on our mind and they are our actual holistic life coach. Whether it is family, friends or even the neighbours, their confidence in us gives us the strength to achieve our goal.

On the other hand, in the absence of their assurance, we start doubting our aim, wondering whether we are moving towards the correct direction. Here you have two choices; either be focused yourself, or search for a confidence coach, who will instil trust in you to have full faith in your dreams, even if others do not approve of it.

2. Lack Of Confidence In Our Dreams

If taken a closer look,  this is a major reason which hampers our thoughts. Forget about others, at the end of the day only we can bring a change in our life. By realising what our full potential is and then matching it with what we need to achieve our dreams, is a good way to start working towards them.  

Focus on the possibilities and have faith in yourself that you have got what it needs. Even if you fall short, your learning and experience will prepare you to do better next time!

3. Doubt–The Biggest Killer Of Success

With little or absolutely no support from family and having a lack of confidence can compel you to doubt your dreams. Once self-doubt enters your life, then there is no way one can get out of this vicious cycle. As one qualm raises several questions about our capabilities, we surrender ourselves to these apprehensions without even trying to move towards the goal.

4. Ignorance Of Strength And Capabilities

Remember it is your own life. You are in-charge of this. Nobody else has the right to judge you on your capabilities. It is up to every individual to identify their strengths, weaknesses, and potential. We often fail to recognize our potency and start following somebody else's dream.

5. Finding Faults With Others

Yes, the blame game is possibly a crucial factor that hinders our success path. In the process, we tend to blame somebody else for our own shortcomings or mistakes. Unable to take responsibility for our blunders, we keep repeating our errors without learning from the past.

At this time, it is better to have someone who has an outside perspective, can see clearly and help you realise the same. With the right guidance, one starts accepting reality, identifies one's weakness, and acts accordingly in a disciplined manner.

6. More Wishes, Less Hard Work And Commitment

‘I wish I were a well-known athlete with a huge fan following, but I'm sorry I cannot put in too much physical labour.’

This contradictory situation will always disrupt your success dream. Wishes without hard work, commitments, and proper planning will never let you achieve your goals, even if you have all the support and resources available. As they say, A Goal without a Plan is just a Wish.

7. Lack Of Appreciation

In our daily stressful life, we forget to be thankful for whatever strength and qualities we have and work towards the betterment of the same. We keep comparing ourselves with others and focus on what we do not have. In this situation, one must remember that every individual is different; therefore, instead of falling prey to this constant feeling of incompleteness focusing on aspects that make us stronger will certainly result in success. The appreciation will also force you to take care of yourself and constantly improve your skills.

Though the above said reasons are the main culprits which often stop us from chasing our dreams, there are other factors too contributing to the sabotage of our success which cannot be ignored. For example, stress, anger and anxiety caused due to the constant urge to win the rat race, which not only affects the performance but also depletes the energy levels.

This depleted energy level needs to be replenished every day using energy healing techniques like meditation or sound therapy.

Whether it is physical or mental health, in today's competitive world both are equally important to achieve success because a healthy mind resides in a healthy body. And a healthy mind supports a healthy body.

Our diet, our surroundings, events, people – everything adds to our emotions. Once we start understanding each emotion separately and delinking it from the other, we can start removing these blockages and limitations from our minds.

 If you want to understand how and where to start, let’s have a conversation.

Till I see you with my next thoughts – Enjoy Life, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free!

Have you had the feeling that your life is not going the way you wanted it?

Do you feel that despite everything you do, things are not going your way?

Do you feel that everything and everyone is conspiring to fail you? Do you feel that you have had to bargain hard for everything that life has given you?

Has the relationship with your partner lost its charm and things don’t look like they are improving?

In a nutshell, do you feel victimized and have stopped enjoying life altogether?

Let me take a step back and look at the situation from a different angle.

As you walk on the road, do you notice the trees, the grass on the sidewalk, the cool air, bright sun etc.? Your answer might be a yes for a few or all – do you remember the split second feeling when you notice the beautiful tree? Isn’t it blissful?

The key to being human is looking at the small things that contribute to making our lives better and happier, like

• Your partner who wakes up in the morning to make you breakfast while you are fast asleep
• Your dog loving you to distraction
• The little bird that chirps in the morning to wake us up
• The bus/train that arrives on time to take you to work
• The postman who braves the heat or cold to deliver your mail
• The pothole in your road that has been miraculously filled up overnight
• The loan that gets granted to pull you out of a sticky situation etc. etc.

It is important to realize that we are walking on the shoulders of so many people who are only striving to make our lives better. The work one does touches so many lives and it would be a pity if we are unhappy and fail to recognize how much better our lives are due to the people around us.

The more you notice what you have and the less you notice what you don’t is the key to Happiness. When you count your blessings (no matter how trivial), life always seems easy, contented and happy. Counting your blessings means Appreciation of yourself and everything that life offers to you.

Rob and Marley had been married for 10 years, but of late their relationship had lost all its fun. They felt that the love had gone out of the relationship and it started showing in the smiles (or lack of) of their children.

They were arguing regularly, and it looked they were heading for a breakup. One day the argument happened in front of their close friend Chris who told them about a saint his wife and him met in India and how much the advice they got from the saint helped their relationship. Thank God this came at the right time for Rob and Marley.

Rob and Marley were planning a last attempt at saving their relationship going for a family vacation so they decided to go to India as a family. They had spent so much meeting marriage counsellors and psychologists but maybe the saint could help them.

They headed straight to the hermitage once they reached India. The saint saw them approaching and smiled. One look at the saint and Rob and Marley felt the weight of the world lifting off their shoulders and this gave them the confidence to discuss their relationship with him.

The saint asked them about their lives and why they are not happy anymore. Rob and Marley both talk about the circumstances, their life, their work and how everything around them has contributed to their misery.

The saint heard them patiently and smiled. He told them that their lives are missing the one thing that keeps the world humming – “Gratitude”

He asked Rob and Marley to write down 5 things that they appreciate in each other, 10 things that they are appreciative of in their lives and come back to him 5 days later. Rob and Marley were puzzled about the simplicity of the task as they had been expecting miracles and healing.

However, something about the saint convinced them to go ahead and do as asked.

They sat down that night and started looking at their lives with a fresh perspective and wrote down things they liked about each other and what they appreciate about the world around them and they did this for the next 5 days as promised.

They went back to the saint after 5 days and he asked, “How are you feeling?” They smiled and told him that when the started writing it was tough, but slowly the list became longer and they started to run out of pages. They were smiling by Day 2 and it was amazing how despite the ‘homework’ it felt like a holiday.

The saint said that the key to life is Appreciation. Once we realize how much the world and their partner is contributing to making their lives comfortable, happy and supported, they will also realize how blessed and fortunate they have been.

He asked them to continue to start noticing all that they have instead of focussing on what they don’t and life will always make them smile.

It has been a few years now and Rob and Marley are happy together and their relationship has never been stronger.

Dear friends, the above is a story that illustrates the power of Appreciation and Gratitude in our lives.

Once we see and start appreciating things around us, we find that our mood starts improving, the petty frustrations going away and our inner strength rising. Remember, behind every supposed cloud there is the sun and the sun is a billion times brighter than the light bulb that we use to illuminate our room. Look to the sun always and it will give you the light you need.

Research has proven that there are more benefits of “Gratitude” and “Appreciating other people”: 

• Improved physical wellbeing 
• Better sleep
• Fall in love with life 
• Increased mental health and strength
• Improved relationships
• Improved self-esteem and self-respect
• Increases empathy towards everyone and everything around us

You will smile when you realize the contribution of others in your life and how the smallest of beings affect your life positively – And a smile a day keeps all doctors away! 

So, practice Appreciation daily:

• Appreciate yourself: Write down 3 things that you like about yourself – you will look at yourself afresh and re-invent yourself. You will slowly feel the old you fade away and get replaced by someone who is full of vitality and creativity
• Appreciate your partner: Write down 3 things you like about your partner. This will make you realize the contribution your partner is making in your life. It will make you fall in love with your partner all over again
• Appreciate your family: Write down 3 things about your family and friends that have benefitted you. See how your mother runs down to help you when you are in trouble, how your child smiles and showers their love on you when you need it the most. How your neighbour baby-sat your second child when your 1^st one had to be rushed to the doctor. There are many examples of people helping you, realize and recognize that.
• Appreciate your workplace: Write down 3 things that you like about your workplace. You spend most of your day there and it is important to identify the positives, it will make you a better employee and more efficient and liked in the workplace.
• Appreciate the world around you: Write down 3 external factors (outside your family, friends and work) that made your life better today. This will make you realize how we should not be taking things for granted and how we should be grateful instead. It could be that the garbage gets picked up at your doorstep by your council or a power-cut getting restored. Feel proud of your state, your nation. This will make you a citizen and role-model for the community.

A stress-free existence is a life that appreciates all that it has offered to him or her, focusing on the positives instead of the negatives. The more you practice Gratitude & Appreciation, the more you will be stress-free and happy.

Till I see you with my next one – Appreciate Life, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free!! 

Today’s world has developed a few unique attributes that seem to be the backbone of survival.

The mantras you would hear all around you are “Use your Mind, Don’t be Blind”,  “Your Intellect is your best friend”, “Use your head, Be selective with your heart”, “Stay sharp and alert”. What is the end result – yes, we achieve what we set out to achieve (at least most of the time) but pay a price for it – we feel burnt out, stressed all the time and realize after a while that this has taken a toll on our body and mind.

Simply put, we achieve our dreams today by paying the price called ‘Stress’. If you draw out a balance sheet of our lifestyle, the liabilities side tends to look heavier to the assets – you would agree, I am sure.

Some of the symptoms of staying in your mind (in normal parlance, we call it the brain) all the time are: 

• A tendency to curb your heart and over-rule it with your brain while taking a decision – while the work gets done, it does not seem to leave you entirely happy or satisfied. In fact, you feel sapped out at times.  
• Emotions tend to run high and whenever situations do not turn out in your favour you feel stressed, anxious and disappointed. 
• Sense of loneliness and isolation– despite being with your social circle. 
• Feeling victimized with losses in life – Sense of judgement for self and others around you. 
• Opting for quick fixes– like reaching out for medications to ease physical discomfort, sleeplessness, mood swings, stiff muscles and joints. 

I have been a victim of this wave too. Yes, I call myself a victim here. You will wonder and ask “Why? Isn’t survival a primary need?” I say “Yes, absolutely!”, as I am no different from any of us. Survival is key to human existence but then why do I call myself a victim?

I have been a banker for the most part of my professional career and hence, my survival out there was all about logic, analysis, argument, debate, competition, risks and uncertainties. My logical mind supported me so well through the 16 odd years that I forgot I also had an emotional side to myself.

There were a few instances in my career when I faced a few disappointments like not getting the expected promotion or got a reduced bonus or not getting the dream job or a difficult boss or an unsatisfactory job profile.

I also had a few instances when I tasted success like bagging the dream job or a hefty pay raise or a bonus that looked like a small fortune or back to back promotions or a great team to work with.

As I started becoming a seasoned professional, I also learnt the ‘trick’ of contemplating. Here I would analyze these ups and downs in my professional life and convince myself that the successes were due to my hard work, smartness, dedication and well-planned strategy but the failures were because of external factors which I could not control! Does this ring a bell?

Life felt good but as I completed 17 years in my career, I started to experience the symptoms of restlessness, anxiety, loneliness and insecurity as if life was slipping past my fingers like dry sand!! There was a sense of incompleteness bordering loss of precious time.

This is when I was introduced to the Master who taught me the art of balancing the worldly ways with your inner (self) development. Simply put, he taught me the mantra “Use your brain, but always take your heart along”.

This was only possible when I opened my heart and gave it that strength and power, so it walks hand in hand with my brain – thus enabling me to make balanced decisions in life – both personal and professional. I realized that this was the only path to enjoying life to its fullest.

I surrendered and asked my Master “How do I open my heart? How do I stop being a slave of my mind?”

And, He introduced me to MEDITATION.

I will be honest – I was nervous and felt tired just picturising sitting and doing ‘nothing’. However, the excitement of walking this new path propelled me…

He is an enlightened Master and I could not have found anybody better to introduce me to the technique. He taught me step-by-step, patiently explaining the experience I was having at every stage and encouraging me to continue practising without any expectations. It takes a Master to teach you meditation so I will refrain from teaching meditation but I can definitely share with you my experience as a student.

How did I start? 

1. I changed my mental frame and outlook:

• Acceptance – that worldly happiness is superficial and dependent on external factors
• Awareness – that I can only do what I can. Success and Failure is not in my hands.
• Realize – that I am a slave of my mind/brain and till my heart opens, stress will be my constant companion
• Search – for an enlightened Master who guides me on a new path
• Surrender – to the technique that the Master teaches
• Practice without judging – the results

1. Cleared my schedule to make time for meditation every day
2. Promised myself that I will be a dedicated student
3. Learnt – with all the focus, attention and eagerness
4. Practised – as if my life depended on it

How did I transform? Dramatically and forever. 

1. My Awareness increased manifold– I am so aware of my breath now and every time I find myself in a challenging or critical situation, focussing on my breath keeps me away from stress
2. Developed a Non-Judgemental outlook towards everyone and everything– I now look at things as they are and practice this state of mind every moment and every day.
3. Appreciating what I have and Accepting what I don’t– As I started counting my blessings, the challenges seemed smaller every time. This has given me renewed energy to deal with a situation without stressing myself out.
4. Accepting people as they are and making conscious choices– I was not wasting energy analysing the instances when someone disappointed me. This left me with an energy surplus all the time.
5. Found a best friend in myself– the more I looked within, I found that I could have handled a situation better. Since the key was in my hand to maintain my peace within, I am now the master of my destiny.
6. Feeling healthier, stress-free, happy and light– now with my energy getting channelled in the ‘right’ things, my physical and mental state follow me to support me in whatever I do.

What do you need to do? Do what I did.

• Accept that you do not want to live in stress and that there is a handy solution to this problem
• Find a Master who can teach you meditation in its truest form
• Be a good student while learning
• Be an even better student while practising
• Make time for meditation in your diary EVERY DAY
• Fix a clean place to sit comfortably – mark this space as your Meditation spot
• The best time is early morning between 5 am and 6 am or evening just after dusk.
• The best state is when you are not very tired or sleepy and your stomach is not too full
• Contemplate on your actions of the past 24 hours without biases – your next day will be automatically better
• Practice Group meditation (if possible) once a week – the group energy gives exponential results

Apart from these life-transforming benefits, meditation learnt right and practised daily will also give you some tangible benefits almost immediately: 

• You’ll sleep better. 
• You’ll lower your blood pressure. 
• You will better handle stressful situations. 
• Meditation decreases depression and anxiety. 
• Meditation helps to relieve pain. 
• You’ll boost your immune system. 
• The “little things” won’t upset you the way they usually do.  
• Meditation helps to boost your memory and ability to focus and learn. 
• You’ll feel calmer throughout your day. 
• It can help you quit smoking and other addictive behaviours.
• Meditation can reduce your risk of a heart attack. 
• Some researchers believe meditation can even protect against Alzheimer’s and Dementia. 
• Meditation can help you manage grief. 
• Meditation can help you feel inspired in new ways. It literally reshapes your brain. 

So, include Meditation in your regime and start today with learning it right.

Till I see you with another topic – Enjoy Life, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free – 

Have you ever stopped and wondered how many conflicting thoughts you deal with every day? You want to:

Finish an important report for your office  OR Go for your exercise OR Watch your favourite TV show  OR Finish some house chore...

Then you decide to settle for watching TV.

At times, you may want to finish some plumbing activity at home but suddenly talking to a friend or watching soccer becomes more important.

You will notice a pattern: Most often you chose a ‘less’ important work.

It is almost like you have two personalities. There is a part in you that wants to proceed as per your beliefs and then there is this other part which asks you to go against these beliefs. It is like if you have Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, both in you.

Two or more conflicting thoughts in your mind at the same time creates tension. This tension is directly proportional to the:

1. Importance or attachment to the subject or event
2. The degree of the opposition of your conflicting thought and belief
3. Difficulty to resolve the conflict of thought

Let us look at some real-life situations to understand this a bit more.

Let us say, you are married, and you strongly believe in the institution of marriage. However, you get attracted towards another person in your office then this will create a lot of stress in you, as your belief in the institution of marriage is strong and getting attracted to another person is totally contradicting this belief (nearly a 180-degree turn). As you cannot avoid this person in the office, the chances to resolve this conflict is a challenge. This can result in the failure of your marriage.

Students who know that this is the right time to study but waste it in video games, chats etc. will be a victim of these conflicting thoughts.

You want to quit smoking or control eating fatty foods, but you do exactly the opposite because of your conflicting thoughts.

There will be many instances when you set out to achieve something but fail because of the wrong choices you made. In these cases, you have been a victim of conflicting thoughts.

So, conflict of thoughts is one of the biggest reasons for the failures you have faced since your childhood till now.

Now, how to control your conflicting thoughts?

Awareness development towards that aspect of your life is the only way to resolve the conflict. If you want something in your life, you need to:

1. Be aware of ‘how passionately you desire’ it: Strong willingness to achieve something is the first step towards avoiding conflicting thoughts and takes you closer to success. This is also useful in overriding other conflicting thoughts.
2. Be aware of ‘how much you are ready to change or transform’ for it: This is another aspect you need to be ready for before you start a new endeavour. Every new achievement in your life changes or transforms you. The more significant the achievement, higher is the change or transformation in you. So, you should be ready for changes in your life otherwise this will create conflict in your thoughts and result in failure.
3. Be aware of the process: You need to be aware of the process to achieve what you want. This will help you in your success.
4. Ready to Learn: New endeavours will bring you the possibility where you will need to learn new things and now that you are ready to change, you will need to be ready to learn. Learning brings growth and change.
5. Accept the results: With the approach, you have taken, you need to be very much aware of the shape and form in which your results will appear. You must accept your results as they come, as the process and effort have been done by you. Sometimes your mind dreams of a result without considering the process you have followed, or the detours you have taken in the process. So, accepting the results paves the way for future success.

There was a Fakir (wandering saint) in a city and he was known to be a God-realized soul. There was a man named Nitin who always asked this fakir “When am I going to see God?” or “Show me God please”.

One day the fakir was going to take his bath when Nitin crossed his path and asked the same old question, “Please show me, God”.

The fakir smiled and said, “Come, I will show you, God, today.” Nitin was caught by surprise, but he became excited with the thought of seeing God. He followed the Fakir to the river when the faqir asked him to take a dip in its waters. As Nitin took a dip, the fakir held Nitin’s head and neck with both hands and forced him to stay underwater. Nitin’s first thought was that this might be the process, but when he realized that the fakir is not going to let him come out of the water, he started to struggle with the fakir, so he could come out for some air. After a lot of struggle, the fakir released Nitin and allowed him to take some deep breaths.

Once Nitin felt better, the fakir asked, “How do you feel?”

Nitin got very angry, “Is this a joke? I almost died.”

The fakir asked again, “Answer my question. How did you feel underwater?”

Nitin said, “What do you expect? I felt I would die of suffocation.”

The fakir smiled and said, “This is the kind of desperation you should feel till you see God. A desperate passion, a longing, a sole aim that consumes you day and night. Your mind should not have any conflicting thoughts about other priorities in life. Your focus should be clear. And for this, you need high levels of awareness.”

So, in a nutshell, to avoid failure due to conflicting thoughts you need to be aware of:

1. What it takes to become successful
2. The changes or transformation it brings
3. Learnings it brings in your life
4. Results it can bring to you

Once you commit to the above, you will never face conflicting thoughts on your path to success.

See you next week. Till then, Stay Aware, Stay Healthy and Stress-free!!