“Success needs hard work? Or, success depends on luck?" These are your thoughts as you wait at the bus stop for the 9.00 a.m. bus on a Monday morning, all set for your job promotion interview. You are sharply dressed in a crisp white shirt with a tie on, and a pair of black trousers.

“Shall I be successful in the interview today? Will I get the promotion? What can I do to prove my worth?”

You notice a man with the magazine that has “Top 100 Most Influential People” as its lead story.

Will this prompt you to think deeper?

Success, for you, at that moment would be equal to getting the promotion.

However, success is not the matter of one moment. It needs investment in the form of diligence, the way a seed needs constant nurture to grow into a tree.

Think of an individual who is successful according to you, and notice their traits. Do they respond to your question confidently or do they fumble? Do they seem passionate about their life, or do they complain? There are a few traits that are common across all successful individuals:

1. Learn to appreciate yourself and the universe!

What we sow, so shall we reap! This is a universal law known to everyone. Whatever we give to the universe comes back to us in equal proportion.

An animal trapped in a mirror box growls at his own reflection, thinking it to be another animal. Its scorn comes back to it from all sides, multifold. The universe is no different to a mirror box. Learn to appreciate the way you are and learn to respect others.

You decide the way the world treats you!

An individual who understands this law is bound to succeed in life.

2. Open up your mind, be receptive towards others’ views, and take risks!

Listen carefully what people have to offer. The stereotype of staying aloof in order to focus on career and be successful has not led to much success in the real world.

Today, we constantly gather information, but once our minds are full – we stop listening, our mind gets saturated and we suffer from brain fog. It is important for us to empty our minds to enhance creativity. Adequate amount of sleep is one way of providing rest to a tired mind.

Our life revolves around the beliefs and ideas we inculcate. However, being dismissive to new ideas and the risks they bring along is not a good sign.

Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook once remarked, “…the only strategy guaranteed to fail is not taking risks!”

You need to gear up to take risks in order to grow in life. Fear of stagnancy is much higher than the fear of loss in successful people!

Listen to understand, to gain knowledge, and to achieve wisdom.

3. Focus on daily, short term goals! Start small, and scale them higher with discipline!

Think of your life as a Kids Bank Account. You save little by little hoping to draw a fat saving amount in the future. Focusing on daily goals and working towards them opens the gateway for greater success in life.

However, if you fail in some instances, this should not pull you down. It is immensely important to remain motivated on a regular basis. Remind yourself of your goal every time you seem to lag behind. Action aligned to discipline gives results.

Every day should end analyzing your highs and lows during the day. Achieving daily targets provides the push to move forward towards the larger goal. Spending some time meditating on yourself and seeking some ‘me time’ on a daily basis is a habit to be developed for achieving greater heights.

4. Stay in the present , discarding the junk from the past! Accept your failure, forgive yourself, learn and move on!

When was the last time you felt you’ve conquered the world? Do you remember the feeling of that extreme happiness?

Remember your high points in life and strive every moment to feel the same way. Focusing constantly on aligning yourself to positivity is a way of life for successful people.

Be a wise judge of what to keep and what to discard from past memories, and keep moving ahead in life. Failures are memories to learn from. No one has ever grown in life if he or she decides to stagnate.

As Winston Churchill says “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm…”, accept, forgive yourself, learn and move on!

An eagle can foresee a storm. Instead of hiding away, it flies to a high point, sets its wings in such a way that the winds lift it higher than the storm itself.

Failures are the storms in your life, above which, a successful individual soars like an eagle!

Success in life mandatorily needs clarity of vision, intention and dedication. Elon Musk, CEO of automobile giant Tesla Motors, has a mission to enable global automobile transition towards sustainable energy. Despite numerous challenges, he has begun to live his vision. His mission resonates with the universe, and hence possesses utmost potential for success!

Every successful individual has stories that are stepping stones to his success!

When are you planning to begin writing your own story?

If you want to understand how and where to start, let’s have a conversation.

You are the autobiographer – Create your success story and as you do so, Stay Healthy and Stress-free!

Have you ever wondered how it would be if you simply started a journey without knowing the destination? It would be meaningless. You will never know whether you are moving in the right direction or if you’ve reached the end. Similarly, a life without a goal is insignificant.

So, what are these goals we are talking about? How do they play a pivotal role in our life? Goals are nothing but small targets we set for ourselves as we move along in our life. Once these targets are reached, it gives us a sense of accomplishment and confidence, very important for our overall well-being. These small, time-specific targets we set act as a reality check for our plans and tells us whether we are heading down the path that leads to success.

Goals change basis the needs and circumstances in which they are determined. Short term goals, long term goals, individual goals, team goals, personal goals, and professional goals are some common types of goals we outline to achieve success, depending on the requirement. But does setting a goal ensure success? No. Not if the goals are unrealistic.

Setting goals on paper is easy but setting realistic goals can be challenging. But why? After all, we are setting goals for our success, not others’! This is the general notion. How many of us visualize our future, keeping in mind only our potential, ignoring the success of others?

Let's take the example of an individual who plans to start a business without a proper team or capital and sets an unrealistic goal of attaining a turnover of $10 million in one financial year by just comparing his/her start-up with other established businesses. Is that practical?

No!

Instead, the individual should first focus on small, achievable goals, like hiring a proper team, completing a market survey, building a capital base, and then outlining the profitability and turnover. With each of these small steps taken one at a time, you can be sure your goals are focused on your objective and you’re moving in the right direction.

We must accept that all individuals are different with various strengths and weaknesses. Hence, it is important that whatever goals we are carving should be aligned to our ability and not based on how someone else has achieved success or what goals other successful competitors have fixed for themselves. Instead, before setting your goals, it is crucial to realize your own potential and then create a goal aligned to this.

A goal defined as per potential is more realistic, making it easier to stay glued to the plan and not give up halfway through. Here are a few ways you can define a realistic goal.

1. Look For A Purpose In Your Goal

Writing down your realistic goals and achieving them isn’t enough. Ask yourself, “why am I setting this aim? What is my purpose? What am I seeking through the accomplishment of these goals?” The answer to these simple questions will help you discover your true goal as per your capability and keep you motivated throughout your beautiful journey until you reach your destination.

2. Write Down Your Goals

Making a goal is not enough. Writing every bit of the planning is equally important, because when your goals are visible, you connect to them. However, if you just write your goals in a diary and keep the diary in a drawer, you are bound to forget about your goals once the adrenaline rush decreases. If your goals are always visible, it will keep you motivated despite any distractions in the way of your journey.

3. Reveal and Discuss Your Goals

Knowing your abilities, setting goals, and writing them down is not enough. As our thoughts and plans are not accountable to others, if we don’t reach the goal or get distracted, we have no one to answer to but ourselves. As such, we easily lose focus. Here arises the need for a partner or another individual who can act as a critic or analyst, who can serve as a reminder to our set goals. Example, you plan to lose 3 kgs every month, but you’ve never discussed it with your friends or a trainer. At the end of one month, if you are not able to attain the goal, you will in all probabilities extend the timeline! It will not make a difference to others.

4. Stay Hungry

Stay hungry for knowledge and be curious. We don’t know everything, and we constantly need to upgrade ourselves. And there has never been a better time to do this than today’s digital age. You can sign-up for courses and start learning from experts in the comfort of your own home. As you start adding new skills, techniques, you start moving closer to your goals. Just like you learn to drive before you buy a car, you need to identify what skills you need to achieve your goals and then work towards them. Once you have this understanding, find the best source for this knowledge and start learning with an open mind.

5. Predict Hindrances

Acting on plans to achieve success is not easy. You are bound to hit roadblocks while following your success path but if you can anticipate the obstacles while planning and staying prepared to make a few changes in the course of action. Being overly confident and less flexible to changing your own plan might lead to failure and setbacks. On the other hand, if you are aware of all the challenges that the future might challenge you with, you will be ready to clear the obstacles with well-thought out solutions.

Overall, it can be said that a life without a goal is living life “only wishing”. It is essential to carve a successful path by first knowing your inner strength, then fixing your objective and finally working towards achieving these goals with full determination. No matter how difficult the path is or how many obstacles or distractions you may face, the process must continue until you reach your target. You will award yourself not only success but also an enriched version of yourself because of the experiences you gain along the way!

If you want to understand how and where to start, let’s have a conversation.

Till I see you with my next thoughts – Enjoy Life, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free!

Have you ever stopped and wondered how many conflicting thoughts you deal with every day? You want to:

Finish an important report for your office  OR Go for your exercise OR Watch your favourite TV show  OR Finish some house chore...

Then you decide to settle for watching TV.

At times, you may want to finish some plumbing activity at home but suddenly talking to a friend or watching soccer becomes more important.

You will notice a pattern: Most often you chose a ‘less’ important work.

It is almost like you have two personalities. There is a part in you that wants to proceed as per your beliefs and then there is this other part which asks you to go against these beliefs. It is like if you have Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, both in you.

Two or more conflicting thoughts in your mind at the same time creates tension. This tension is directly proportional to the:

1. Importance or attachment to the subject or event
2. The degree of the opposition of your conflicting thought and belief
3. Difficulty to resolve the conflict of thought

Let us look at some real-life situations to understand this a bit more.

Let us say, you are married, and you strongly believe in the institution of marriage. However, you get attracted towards another person in your office then this will create a lot of stress in you, as your belief in the institution of marriage is strong and getting attracted to another person is totally contradicting this belief (nearly a 180-degree turn). As you cannot avoid this person in the office, the chances to resolve this conflict is a challenge. This can result in the failure of your marriage.

Students who know that this is the right time to study but waste it in video games, chats etc. will be a victim of these conflicting thoughts.

You want to quit smoking or control eating fatty foods, but you do exactly the opposite because of your conflicting thoughts.

There will be many instances when you set out to achieve something but fail because of the wrong choices you made. In these cases, you have been a victim of conflicting thoughts.

So, conflict of thoughts is one of the biggest reasons for the failures you have faced since your childhood till now.

Now, how to control your conflicting thoughts?

Awareness development towards that aspect of your life is the only way to resolve the conflict. If you want something in your life, you need to:

1. Be aware of ‘how passionately you desire’ it: Strong willingness to achieve something is the first step towards avoiding conflicting thoughts and takes you closer to success. This is also useful in overriding other conflicting thoughts.
2. Be aware of ‘how much you are ready to change or transform’ for it: This is another aspect you need to be ready for before you start a new endeavour. Every new achievement in your life changes or transforms you. The more significant the achievement, higher is the change or transformation in you. So, you should be ready for changes in your life otherwise this will create conflict in your thoughts and result in failure.
3. Be aware of the process: You need to be aware of the process to achieve what you want. This will help you in your success.
4. Ready to Learn: New endeavours will bring you the possibility where you will need to learn new things and now that you are ready to change, you will need to be ready to learn. Learning brings growth and change.
5. Accept the results: With the approach, you have taken, you need to be very much aware of the shape and form in which your results will appear. You must accept your results as they come, as the process and effort have been done by you. Sometimes your mind dreams of a result without considering the process you have followed, or the detours you have taken in the process. So, accepting the results paves the way for future success.

There was a Fakir (wandering saint) in a city and he was known to be a God-realized soul. There was a man named Nitin who always asked this fakir “When am I going to see God?” or “Show me God please”.

One day the fakir was going to take his bath when Nitin crossed his path and asked the same old question, “Please show me, God”.

The fakir smiled and said, “Come, I will show you, God, today.” Nitin was caught by surprise, but he became excited with the thought of seeing God. He followed the Fakir to the river when the faqir asked him to take a dip in its waters. As Nitin took a dip, the fakir held Nitin’s head and neck with both hands and forced him to stay underwater. Nitin’s first thought was that this might be the process, but when he realized that the fakir is not going to let him come out of the water, he started to struggle with the fakir, so he could come out for some air. After a lot of struggle, the fakir released Nitin and allowed him to take some deep breaths.

Once Nitin felt better, the fakir asked, “How do you feel?”

Nitin got very angry, “Is this a joke? I almost died.”

The fakir asked again, “Answer my question. How did you feel underwater?”

Nitin said, “What do you expect? I felt I would die of suffocation.”

The fakir smiled and said, “This is the kind of desperation you should feel till you see God. A desperate passion, a longing, a sole aim that consumes you day and night. Your mind should not have any conflicting thoughts about other priorities in life. Your focus should be clear. And for this, you need high levels of awareness.”

So, in a nutshell, to avoid failure due to conflicting thoughts you need to be aware of:

1. What it takes to become successful
2. The changes or transformation it brings
3. Learnings it brings in your life
4. Results it can bring to you

Once you commit to the above, you will never face conflicting thoughts on your path to success.

See you next week. Till then, Stay Aware, Stay Healthy and Stress-free!!