“Success needs hard work? Or, success depends on luck?" These are your thoughts as you wait at the bus stop for the 9.00 a.m. bus on a Monday morning, all set for your job promotion interview. You are sharply dressed in a crisp white shirt with a tie on, and a pair of black trousers.

“Shall I be successful in the interview today? Will I get the promotion? What can I do to prove my worth?”

You notice a man with the magazine that has “Top 100 Most Influential People” as its lead story.

Will this prompt you to think deeper?

Success, for you, at that moment would be equal to getting the promotion.

However, success is not the matter of one moment. It needs investment in the form of diligence, the way a seed needs constant nurture to grow into a tree.

Think of an individual who is successful according to you, and notice their traits. Do they respond to your question confidently or do they fumble? Do they seem passionate about their life, or do they complain? There are a few traits that are common across all successful individuals:

1. Learn to appreciate yourself and the universe!

What we sow, so shall we reap! This is a universal law known to everyone. Whatever we give to the universe comes back to us in equal proportion.

An animal trapped in a mirror box growls at his own reflection, thinking it to be another animal. Its scorn comes back to it from all sides, multifold. The universe is no different to a mirror box. Learn to appreciate the way you are and learn to respect others.

You decide the way the world treats you!

An individual who understands this law is bound to succeed in life.

2. Open up your mind, be receptive towards others’ views, and take risks!

Listen carefully what people have to offer. The stereotype of staying aloof in order to focus on career and be successful has not led to much success in the real world.

Today, we constantly gather information, but once our minds are full – we stop listening, our mind gets saturated and we suffer from brain fog. It is important for us to empty our minds to enhance creativity. Adequate amount of sleep is one way of providing rest to a tired mind.

Our life revolves around the beliefs and ideas we inculcate. However, being dismissive to new ideas and the risks they bring along is not a good sign.

Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook once remarked, “…the only strategy guaranteed to fail is not taking risks!”

You need to gear up to take risks in order to grow in life. Fear of stagnancy is much higher than the fear of loss in successful people!

Listen to understand, to gain knowledge, and to achieve wisdom.

3. Focus on daily, short term goals! Start small, and scale them higher with discipline!

Think of your life as a Kids Bank Account. You save little by little hoping to draw a fat saving amount in the future. Focusing on daily goals and working towards them opens the gateway for greater success in life.

However, if you fail in some instances, this should not pull you down. It is immensely important to remain motivated on a regular basis. Remind yourself of your goal every time you seem to lag behind. Action aligned to discipline gives results.

Every day should end analyzing your highs and lows during the day. Achieving daily targets provides the push to move forward towards the larger goal. Spending some time meditating on yourself and seeking some ‘me time’ on a daily basis is a habit to be developed for achieving greater heights.

4. Stay in the present , discarding the junk from the past! Accept your failure, forgive yourself, learn and move on!

When was the last time you felt you’ve conquered the world? Do you remember the feeling of that extreme happiness?

Remember your high points in life and strive every moment to feel the same way. Focusing constantly on aligning yourself to positivity is a way of life for successful people.

Be a wise judge of what to keep and what to discard from past memories, and keep moving ahead in life. Failures are memories to learn from. No one has ever grown in life if he or she decides to stagnate.

As Winston Churchill says “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm…”, accept, forgive yourself, learn and move on!

An eagle can foresee a storm. Instead of hiding away, it flies to a high point, sets its wings in such a way that the winds lift it higher than the storm itself.

Failures are the storms in your life, above which, a successful individual soars like an eagle!

Success in life mandatorily needs clarity of vision, intention and dedication. Elon Musk, CEO of automobile giant Tesla Motors, has a mission to enable global automobile transition towards sustainable energy. Despite numerous challenges, he has begun to live his vision. His mission resonates with the universe, and hence possesses utmost potential for success!

Every successful individual has stories that are stepping stones to his success!

When are you planning to begin writing your own story?

If you want to understand how and where to start, let’s have a conversation.

You are the autobiographer – Create your success story and as you do so, Stay Healthy and Stress-free!

Have you ever been in a situation where your heart and brain work in the opposite direction? When your heart says, ‘come on, chase your dreams’, but your brain pulls you in the opposite path stating, ‘it is impossible to achieve’.

In the beginning, your adrenaline rushes and you are ready to face all the challenges, but slowly when you start making the necessary move, the sense of fear moves stealthily in your mind. Suddenly you are overpowered by your negative thoughts and self-doubts.

Where do these fears come from? Why can't we overcome them? Is it our self-ignorance, lack of confidence or scarcity of resources?

No, it is not that simple. This behaviour is called self-sabotaging and it is the result of several factors and events in our life that compels us to believe we are not born to or we are not made to achieve, what we are striving for.

And guess what?

We succumb to this and give up our actual dreams to lead a life that everybody wants us to lead. The bad news is we all become a victim of self-harm at least once in our lifetime, especially when we do not have anyone to coach us.

So, let us look at a few ways in which we unknowingly impair our own success.

1. The Dearth Of Support From Family

People we are surrounded with have a very strong impact on our mind and they are our actual holistic life coach. Whether it is family, friends or even the neighbours, their confidence in us gives us the strength to achieve our goal.

On the other hand, in the absence of their assurance, we start doubting our aim, wondering whether we are moving towards the correct direction. Here you have two choices; either be focused yourself, or search for a confidence coach, who will instil trust in you to have full faith in your dreams, even if others do not approve of it.

2. Lack Of Confidence In Our Dreams

If taken a closer look,  this is a major reason which hampers our thoughts. Forget about others, at the end of the day only we can bring a change in our life. By realising what our full potential is and then matching it with what we need to achieve our dreams, is a good way to start working towards them.  

Focus on the possibilities and have faith in yourself that you have got what it needs. Even if you fall short, your learning and experience will prepare you to do better next time!

3. Doubt–The Biggest Killer Of Success

With little or absolutely no support from family and having a lack of confidence can compel you to doubt your dreams. Once self-doubt enters your life, then there is no way one can get out of this vicious cycle. As one qualm raises several questions about our capabilities, we surrender ourselves to these apprehensions without even trying to move towards the goal.

4. Ignorance Of Strength And Capabilities

Remember it is your own life. You are in-charge of this. Nobody else has the right to judge you on your capabilities. It is up to every individual to identify their strengths, weaknesses, and potential. We often fail to recognize our potency and start following somebody else's dream.

5. Finding Faults With Others

Yes, the blame game is possibly a crucial factor that hinders our success path. In the process, we tend to blame somebody else for our own shortcomings or mistakes. Unable to take responsibility for our blunders, we keep repeating our errors without learning from the past.

At this time, it is better to have someone who has an outside perspective, can see clearly and help you realise the same. With the right guidance, one starts accepting reality, identifies one's weakness, and acts accordingly in a disciplined manner.

6. More Wishes, Less Hard Work And Commitment

‘I wish I were a well-known athlete with a huge fan following, but I'm sorry I cannot put in too much physical labour.’

This contradictory situation will always disrupt your success dream. Wishes without hard work, commitments, and proper planning will never let you achieve your goals, even if you have all the support and resources available. As they say, A Goal without a Plan is just a Wish.

7. Lack Of Appreciation

In our daily stressful life, we forget to be thankful for whatever strength and qualities we have and work towards the betterment of the same. We keep comparing ourselves with others and focus on what we do not have. In this situation, one must remember that every individual is different; therefore, instead of falling prey to this constant feeling of incompleteness focusing on aspects that make us stronger will certainly result in success. The appreciation will also force you to take care of yourself and constantly improve your skills.

Though the above said reasons are the main culprits which often stop us from chasing our dreams, there are other factors too contributing to the sabotage of our success which cannot be ignored. For example, stress, anger and anxiety caused due to the constant urge to win the rat race, which not only affects the performance but also depletes the energy levels.

This depleted energy level needs to be replenished every day using energy healing techniques like meditation or sound therapy.

Whether it is physical or mental health, in today's competitive world both are equally important to achieve success because a healthy mind resides in a healthy body. And a healthy mind supports a healthy body.

Our diet, our surroundings, events, people – everything adds to our emotions. Once we start understanding each emotion separately and delinking it from the other, we can start removing these blockages and limitations from our minds.

 If you want to understand how and where to start, let’s have a conversation.

Till I see you with my next thoughts – Enjoy Life, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free!

Have you ever stopped and wondered how many conflicting thoughts you deal with every day? You want to:

Finish an important report for your office  OR Go for your exercise OR Watch your favourite TV show  OR Finish some house chore...

Then you decide to settle for watching TV.

At times, you may want to finish some plumbing activity at home but suddenly talking to a friend or watching soccer becomes more important.

You will notice a pattern: Most often you chose a ‘less’ important work.

It is almost like you have two personalities. There is a part in you that wants to proceed as per your beliefs and then there is this other part which asks you to go against these beliefs. It is like if you have Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, both in you.

Two or more conflicting thoughts in your mind at the same time creates tension. This tension is directly proportional to the:

1. Importance or attachment to the subject or event
2. The degree of the opposition of your conflicting thought and belief
3. Difficulty to resolve the conflict of thought

Let us look at some real-life situations to understand this a bit more.

Let us say, you are married, and you strongly believe in the institution of marriage. However, you get attracted towards another person in your office then this will create a lot of stress in you, as your belief in the institution of marriage is strong and getting attracted to another person is totally contradicting this belief (nearly a 180-degree turn). As you cannot avoid this person in the office, the chances to resolve this conflict is a challenge. This can result in the failure of your marriage.

Students who know that this is the right time to study but waste it in video games, chats etc. will be a victim of these conflicting thoughts.

You want to quit smoking or control eating fatty foods, but you do exactly the opposite because of your conflicting thoughts.

There will be many instances when you set out to achieve something but fail because of the wrong choices you made. In these cases, you have been a victim of conflicting thoughts.

So, conflict of thoughts is one of the biggest reasons for the failures you have faced since your childhood till now.

Now, how to control your conflicting thoughts?

Awareness development towards that aspect of your life is the only way to resolve the conflict. If you want something in your life, you need to:

1. Be aware of ‘how passionately you desire’ it: Strong willingness to achieve something is the first step towards avoiding conflicting thoughts and takes you closer to success. This is also useful in overriding other conflicting thoughts.
2. Be aware of ‘how much you are ready to change or transform’ for it: This is another aspect you need to be ready for before you start a new endeavour. Every new achievement in your life changes or transforms you. The more significant the achievement, higher is the change or transformation in you. So, you should be ready for changes in your life otherwise this will create conflict in your thoughts and result in failure.
3. Be aware of the process: You need to be aware of the process to achieve what you want. This will help you in your success.
4. Ready to Learn: New endeavours will bring you the possibility where you will need to learn new things and now that you are ready to change, you will need to be ready to learn. Learning brings growth and change.
5. Accept the results: With the approach, you have taken, you need to be very much aware of the shape and form in which your results will appear. You must accept your results as they come, as the process and effort have been done by you. Sometimes your mind dreams of a result without considering the process you have followed, or the detours you have taken in the process. So, accepting the results paves the way for future success.

There was a Fakir (wandering saint) in a city and he was known to be a God-realized soul. There was a man named Nitin who always asked this fakir “When am I going to see God?” or “Show me God please”.

One day the fakir was going to take his bath when Nitin crossed his path and asked the same old question, “Please show me, God”.

The fakir smiled and said, “Come, I will show you, God, today.” Nitin was caught by surprise, but he became excited with the thought of seeing God. He followed the Fakir to the river when the faqir asked him to take a dip in its waters. As Nitin took a dip, the fakir held Nitin’s head and neck with both hands and forced him to stay underwater. Nitin’s first thought was that this might be the process, but when he realized that the fakir is not going to let him come out of the water, he started to struggle with the fakir, so he could come out for some air. After a lot of struggle, the fakir released Nitin and allowed him to take some deep breaths.

Once Nitin felt better, the fakir asked, “How do you feel?”

Nitin got very angry, “Is this a joke? I almost died.”

The fakir asked again, “Answer my question. How did you feel underwater?”

Nitin said, “What do you expect? I felt I would die of suffocation.”

The fakir smiled and said, “This is the kind of desperation you should feel till you see God. A desperate passion, a longing, a sole aim that consumes you day and night. Your mind should not have any conflicting thoughts about other priorities in life. Your focus should be clear. And for this, you need high levels of awareness.”

So, in a nutshell, to avoid failure due to conflicting thoughts you need to be aware of:

1. What it takes to become successful
2. The changes or transformation it brings
3. Learnings it brings in your life
4. Results it can bring to you

Once you commit to the above, you will never face conflicting thoughts on your path to success.

See you next week. Till then, Stay Aware, Stay Healthy and Stress-free!!